3 shades of Williams (English)

Second Shade ((dis-)satisfaction)

13 years ago:

They had been in a happy relationship for two years now and as much as there were difficulties at first, Steve thought things were going very well. The rest of the team, even the governor, had accepted the relationship so they were openly a couple. But something wasn't right at the moment, Danny seemed more and more nervous, unbalanced, maybe even more dissatisfied. Steve couldn't exactly say what it was, but he was concerned. While they still had sex regularly, they lived their lives together and got along well. Of course there were always minor quarrels, but in his opinion they were part of it. That's why Dannys state of mind irritated him more and more. He thought about when and how he could clarify this with him, but had to admit to himself that this wasn't just a quick conversation. He briefly considered handing in leave for both of them, but decided against it. They had a long weekend in two weeks and he had rented a cabin for them weeks ago on one of the more remote islands so they could have some time to themselves, so he would wait until then.

Dannys state of mind didn't get any better in the two weeks that followed. Steve had a feeling it was getting even worse. Danny seemed dissatisfied and happy at the same time. Even though Steve knew it couldn't be like that, it still felt like it.

When they finally arrived at the hut, Danny was preparing the food and Steve considered whether he should have the conversation with his partner right away or whether he should wait. Deciding not to wait, he started the conversation right after the meal.

"Alright Danno, what's the matter with you? Is something wrong? You seem absolutely happy on the one hand and totally dissatisfied on the other. I can't make any sense in it and I hope you talk to me about it." Steve looked at his partner and was surprised that he actually blushed, but shook his head at the same time.

"Steve, it's nothing. I'm happy!" Danny answered and deliberately didn't go into the second part. He knew he could either love Steve like he did now, or not at all. And he felt losing Steve was not an option.

"Danny, please! You even just blushed. I've seen it, you know what I mean and you can explain to me what the problem is. Please don't lie to me!" Steve was in his element. He had caught Danny lying and was able to put pressure on him.

"Steve, please stop! It's alright and i don't want to talk about it, ok?" Danny started ranting right away. He hated it when Steve tried to corner him.

"No, Danny, I won't let it go. If something is wrong with you or us, then we should talk about it!" Steve demanded, also angry. He didn't want and couldn't believe that Danny wasn't willing to talk to him about it. Still angry, he glared at him and waited until he finally got a reaction.

"Do we have alcohol? Tequila or something? Neither you nor I can cope soberly with what I have to explain now..." Danny answered resignedly and surprised Steve with it.

"We have beer and that should probably be enough..." Steve replied while getting up to get the cold beer from the kitchen. He was surprised that Danny would make such a suggestion, but accepted it.

When he got back to the dining room, he asked, "Shall we sit comfortably outside? We don't have any listeners anyway!" When Danny nodded, he went straight to the terrace and from there to the sandy beach. There were chairs and a table. Putting the second beer down in front of Danny, he sat down and looked curiously and expectantly at the man next to him.

Danny, on the other hand, sat down and looked out to sea, breathing heavily. He was surprised himself that he'd given in, but his gut told him that if he was honest with Steve things would only move forward between them. But he couldn't look at him. After a sip of his beer and clearing his throat, he began:

"Steve, before I tell you this, I want to make it very clear that I'm happy the way it is and I accept that you're not like that. Do you understand that?" Now he glanced at his partner and waited for his approval. Steve nodded, wondering what revelation Danny would come up with. Were there other children? Another ex-wife?