Wait for You

Chapter 11

It rained on the morning of Aurora's funeral. The sky was black, even at ten in the morning big gray cloud filled the sky. It was a miserable day. I always thought  that was Aurora telling her children to miss her for those twenty four hours. Then they were to move on with their lives. They weren't to keep mourning her after. They were to find their purpose and live the life they always wanted.

Bellamy was a mess after his mom died. Part of the problem was he couldn't save her. He had tried so hard to keep her here with them, he felt like he had failed once she died. He loved too hard, that's what she told me the day I met her. That boy loves so hard it breaks him inside when he loses someone. I witnessed his loss firsthand, his mother had been right.

That was why I didn't hesitate to agree to go with him to Jaspers funeral. I knew he would fall apart, I knew he needed someone to be there with him. He needed a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on. I would be that for him, I would help him through his loss. Maybe I could find a way to show him he didn't have to hide his pain. I would be there no matter what.

Jasper enlisted the same day as Bellamy, I saw them get on the bus together. That kid looked up to Bellamy, he followed him around all throughout school. Bellamy had been flattered at first, until Jasper started to have eyes for his little sister. Then he got protective and told him he needed to find someone else.

I knew very little about Jasper, but he had been Bellamy's friend. They were pretty close, Bellamy sometimes complaining he was a pain in the ass. I knew that was really Bell's way of saying he liked him. Everyone was a pain in the ass when they were around Bellamy.

It was raining the morning of Jasper's funeral too.

I woke up, Bellamy's side of the bed empty. I reached out, the sheets were cold. I didn't waste any time, I got up and went to find him. I was hoping he was still in the house. I found him in Jace's room, watching his son sleep. I stood in the doorway, hearing his tears before I saw them. He was falling apart, he was still struggling and I had no idea how to help him heal his broken heart.

"Bell," I walked in and wrapped my arms around his neck from behind. I kissed his cheek, feeling his hands press into mine, "you can do this. You have to say goodbye."

He sighed, "I know," his voice was laced with sleep and tears. He looked at Jace, "I never thought I'd come home. Clarke there were so many ways to die over there, I thought I would never see you again. When Jasper," he stopped, looking at me, "he saved me. Then I come home to find a son. It's like he knew I needed to find you again."

I kissed his cheek, squeezing his fingers gently. I wiped away his tears, "I love you, Bellamy Blake. So does that little boy. We just want you to find your way back to us."

He pulled me around to the front of the chair and then sat me on his lap, "I love you too Clarke. I'm trying," he ran his hand down my cheek, "I can't promise you it'll happen over night, but it will happen. I'm really trying."

I smiled at him, kissing him softly. I took in a deep breath, running my hands through his hair. I closed my eyes, feeling the boy I had fallen in love with come back to me in that kiss. My heart was beating fast, his hands were on my hips. I heard a moan get caught in his throat. 

I laughed, "we should get ready. Let Jace sleep."

I started to stand up, but he stopped me, "Clarke," his voice was soft, his eyes were on our sleeping child, "no matter what happens, I still want you to be my future. You and Jace."

I kissed his lips, his nose, then his cheek almost catching his eye, "you are my future, Bellamy. No matter what has happened, or what will happen. I want to be holding your hand for years to come."