Lost Hope

Chapter Six

We all sit on the sofas in the common room, talking about upcoming exams and worries for the future. None of us want to leave this place, even though we complain about it most of the time. It's the place we grew up together, the place we met, the place we found ourselves. Without this place, I wouldn't have these people in my life. I don't even want to think about leaving, the thought is too painful. I can't imagine us all growing up, moving to different places, living completely different lives...possibly even growing apart. It's only just occurred to me that a day will come when I don't see them every day of the week, listening to their complaints about teachers, hearing them gossip, watching them laugh and play fight with one another.

I'll miss this. I'll miss them.

"Pub later?" Ryan suggests to the group.

"It's a Wednesday," Will says.

"Never knew you to turn down a pint."

Will sighs and rests his head back on the sofa, closing his eyes while stroking River's shoulder. "I'm getting old. Hangovers suck."

"I don't get hangovers," Brains announces with a proud smile on his face.

Will smiles sarcastically. "Good for you."

"Never thought I'd see the day where William Stanley would be jealous of me," he gasps.

"I'm not jealous of you. I'm jealous of your incapability of getting hangovers."

"He is jealous of me," Brains whispers into my ear.

"Isla and I can't go anyway. Our parents are leaving today," Lola says.

"Where're they going this time?" Beck asks.

Lola continues to file down the nails she created by herself. "Italy. I'm so pissed that we can't take a few weeks off school to go with them."

"We should all go when we've finished sixth form," River says.

"I like your thinking. Let's do it."

Brains, who's sat beside me because he raced to this spot earlier in the day, scoots closer and watches me. "How're you?"

I look up and crack a smile, only because I know he's being genuine. "Good. You?"

He's quiet for a few seconds before he finally speaks again. "I mean because of your parents. Must suck that they're going away again."

I shrug my shoulders and fiddle with the fabric bracelet around my wrist. "I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be used to it."

My heart starts pumping faster. It's a weird feeling that I've never experienced before, especially with Brains. Knowing that someone cares and understands makes me feel so seen and heard, even when it wasn't my intention for that to happen. I always try to act so strong, but it's always like Brains can see past the wall I put up. It's comforting and frustrating at the same time.

I'm terrified to feel that sense of security and comfort with a person again, because once it's gone, I'll lose myself all over again.

"Well if no one can come out tonight, you should at least go to Darren's party this weekend," Ryan says.

"You're desperate for a drink," Will scoffs before taking a sip of his energy drink. He apparently needs them after he quit smoking.

"I probably won't even be drinking. I just want us to make the most of the time we have left. We'll be going off to uni soon, going on holidays, starting full time jobs and families. We don't know what's going to happen, do we? None of us know how much time we have left, so why waste it?"