Falling for the boy next door

Chapter 5: Confused

"Look I know that we're just best friends... But I want more than that, Johnny. I want to be yours. But I don't think you want that." I said, frowning.

"I don't know... I could." Johnny replied, a slight grin on his face.

"Don't fucking play with me, Johnny. Don't lead me on. Don't give me false hope. Please."

"Ellie, you know how long it's been since I've been in a relationship. I am not playing with you. I just... don't know what I want yet."

"I will wait however long it takes for you to figure out your feelings."

"Thank you. You have been confusing me a lot lately. I had no idea a girl could confuse me this much."

"What do you mean?"

"Usually, I know if I like someone or if I don't. But with you it's not clear. That's what's throwing me off."

"Oh, I see..."

"But, Ellie, you just got out of a relationship, anyways. You should probably take a bit of time being single before you rush back into a relationship. Plus, that'll give me some time to figure myself out."

"That's true. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to win your heart."

"I figured."

I run my fingers through his soft, brunette hair. He grabs my hand that's in his hair and puts it back in my lap. I furrow my brows at him.

"Johnnyyy, let me play with your hairrrr." I whined, intending to purposefully annoy him.

"No... I'm still shook up from earlier. Why didn't you tell me he was hurting you?"

"I didn't want you to worry about me, Johnny."

"ELLIE, YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, ITS MY JOB TO WORRY ABOUT YOU!"

I look at the floor, trying not to cry. I can't handle when people raise their voice at me. I know that what Johnny said is coming from a place of love, but my body involuntarily creates tears anyways. I feel hot tears start to roll down my cheeks. Johnny must've noticed this because he sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms. I bury my face in his chest, soaking his T-shirt.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have raised my voice at you. Please don't cry, Ellie."

"I'm sorry." I repeated over and over again.

"Hey, you don't have to apologize. You didn't even do anything wrong. I did. I'm sorry. It's just... I wish I would've known sooner. I care about you and I want you to be safe."

I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked up at him.

"I couldn't tell you... My father said that nobody would believe me if I told them, because nobody has seen it happen. Not to mention the fact I'm already clumsy and get random bruises just on my own, everyone would think I said it for attention. I gotta commend him for his amazing acting skills, though. He could play it off like we were a perfect family. Even after mom left."

"Ellie... I would've believed you."

"Then why didn't you see it sooner? What took you so long to realize something isn't right?"

"Because I didn't have probable cause to... My only evidence was something small, which is that you wear hoodies no matter the weather, but some people are just cold all the time. Which I know for a fact you are."

"That's true... I wish I could've been the one hitting my father with his own baseball bat. I never thought I could grow to hate someone so much, especially not my father..."