Odd Rose

14- I Promise...no I swear.

I push him, I'm not dealing with this now.

-"You think I'll forgive you so easily. You broke my heart...And all you can say is sorry." I slap his soul away from him, so loud and firm that it felt. I start to stride upstairs when the front door unlocks and Green-Eyed bastard enters. Well at least I know this is his house, I'll take that as an accomplishment and try to feel somewhat safe, my anger is still there, on the edge of tears I rush up.

-"Hey Kids, I have great news." That's the last thing I hear him say before I sprint up the stairs, bearly holding my tears, wow he really is something. Did he really think that I would forgive him, Just like that? I slam myself inside one of the many rooms, one I had claimed as mine.

As soon as I enter I slide my back down the door and land on the floor hugging my knees I let my tears spill. How, how?
-"Nothing, nothing has gone my way!" I raise my voice. It's been nearly 2 weeks and nothing has gone my way I thought this would be better, that my life would be better. I can't help but feel despair.

I need to punch something I swear I want to bite my pillow until my teeth explode,
I want to scream until I'm hoarse and don't have any breath to continue living.

I struggle to steady my breath I'm practically talking to myself... I must distract myself and I remember I left that notebook downstairs. Oh shucks what now?

-"The thought of Jacob came back, what gives him the right to treat me that way, I have done nothing but help him, I gave him my heart and he just-"

Anger instantly overtakes me again.
I stand up run and jump on the pile of pillows on my bed and start raging at them punching throwing and screaming at them.

*Jacob POV*

As Stella runs up the stairs and Bart enters I feel the urge to run after her, I take a step towards her but step on something, I look down and see it's that notebook she had it's open on a page of some drawings.

-"Hey Kids, I have great news." Bartolomeo then informs me as I pick the notebook up.

I regret everything I said to her well... partly I did mean I wanted her to be safe and don't wander behind me when there is danger. I just my anger got the best of me, and maybe I didn't express myself appropriately. Shit...I fucked up...big time.

-"I'm bringing some friends over we are having a boys' night out, wanna join?!" He asks me as he carelessly tosses his coat onto the sofa.

-"Yeah, why not." I could use some distraction after all. I look down at the notebook, the page it's open to is...me.
Did Stella draw this? There are sketches of me sleeping, and one where she drew my back or what is left of it, I didn't want to see it but these portraits look exactly like me I can't help but believe my back looks exactly like that. Angles of me, a slumped me on a bench blood on my mouth in my nose, the shading is rough and purposely imperfect unlike the others, makes me think she was angry or frustrated sketching this.

As I flip through the pages I see things she probably didn't reference, things she probably remembers from my public punishment, the angles look from her perspective, they are drawn with detail, surprisingly, nice memory.

***

Later that evening Bart's friends arrive, it was an excruciating two hours of dread and regret, thinking about my mistakes.
I'm not that close with Bartolomeo but he has been nice a nice guy save he called Stella a whore...

Ugh I can't get her out of my mind, I constantly want to go and apologize to her, I already did why didn't she say she forgave me and we both are happy... I start to get irritated.