6.1 | Gut

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IT'S EASY TO call a gut-feeling anxiety and leave it at that

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IT'S EASY TO call a gut-feeling anxiety and leave it at that.

It's what I did after seeing Stanley, because I felt like something awful was on the horizon—like my little pocket of bliss was bound to implode at any moment.

I told myself that the sinking feeling in my being was because I was worried about Stanley coming back. I didn't like that he knew about Audrey and anticipated that he would try and do something to provoke Hitch.

It scared me enough that I went to Terrence.

We ended up on the back porch together one night after a family dinner. Hitch was putting Audrey to bed while Terrence smoked and I nursed a beer, laser-focused on his cigarette.

I had decided to give up smoking the week prior when I read an article in a magazine about just how bad cigarettes were. It scared me thinking about possibly dying prematurely and leaving Hitch a widow and Audrey fatherless, so I quit.

I still craved them, though. Made my skin crawl with want just smelling the smoke.

I used the matter at hand to deflect my thoughts, though, too focused on protecting my family to cave in.

"When's the last time you spoke to Stanley Gibbs?" I opened with.

Terrence breathed out a laugh. "Well, that's a name I haven't heard of in a while. Did Pepper tell you about him?"

"Yeah, more than you probably know."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why are you asking about him? Does he still keep in touch with Pep and Reg?"

"Somewhat. I had to stop him from bothering Hitch and Audrey after the wedding."

He sat forward, frowning. "What? Why would he do that?"

"Because he's been blackmailing Hitch."

"'Blackmailing?'" He frowned, thinking. "Over what?"

"Racer."

His eyes went wide. "She told you about him?"

I nodded. "She did, and she told me that Stanley has been holding that over her, telling her that he'll go to the police and blab about her if she doesn't do what he wants her to do."

Terrence looked horrified. "And what did he want her to do?"

I had to look away, my grip so tight on my beer bottle I was sure I could crush it in my grasp. "Things I refuse to repeat."

Terrence thought for a moment before snuffing out his cigarette and standing, moving towards the door. I grabbed him.

"Don't ask her about it. She won't like that."

"I wasn't going to Pep. I was going to find Stanley."

"And do what? You doing anything to him might just make him angrier, and Hitch'll freak if you do that. She's scared enough as is."

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