Feeling lonely - Minsung

Chapter 1

Jisung woke up slowly in his bed, tired from his week. He knew he had to get up quickly and go to school, but he took his phone from his bedside table, checking his messages.

Minho

You awake?

I just woke up, why?

I'm picking u up in 10

-Seen

Jisung smiled behind his phone, his day starting nicely. He got off his bed, putting his clothes on and looking at himself in the mirror, checking to see if he looked somehow presentable. He wasn't the most confident person, but he did feel a bit pretty today, so he stuck with what he had and walked to his kitchen.

As he walked to the empty kitchen, he searched for some things to eat. He was home alone and wasn't the most organized person, mostly when it came to grocery shopping. He hated it.

Jisung was usually home alone, his parents not being really present. It's not that they were being bad parents purposely, they just worked really hard and had to go overseas often, which led Jisung to be alone at home. Jisung wasn't really fazed by it, he was used to it. But Minho always says that even if Jisung doesn't want to acknowledge it, it sure has an impact on how Jisung's education has been done.

He made himself a quick breakfast and got his bag ready, waiting for the older boy to arrive.

Minho has been his best friend since childhood. He had met him because Jisung's mom used to pay his mother to keep Jisung for entire weeks, so the two boys naturally grew up together, being really close. Now Jisung was old enough to be by himself, but he hadn't lost contact with Minho and he didn't plan on it. He still went to Lee's house often, his mother was a sweetheart and she had basically raised him. Jisung was a Junior in highschool, Minho being a senior, so the two of them usually walked to school together.

He heard a knock on his door, opening it and going back to put his shoes on. Minho opened the door and waited for him, tapping his foot showing his impatience to annoy the boy.

"Be sure to take your time Hannie" Minho said sarcastically

"Okay" Jisung said, smiling teasingly and lacing his shoes at a slow rate on purpose.

Minho sighed and rolled his eyes, approaching the boy and crouching down, lacing his shoes quickly. Jisung watched him, still smiling to himself. It was always the same thing when he was with Minho. As much as Jisung has been around him, he couldn't brace himself to keep the butterflies in his belly from spreading out.

Minho finished and stood back up, messing with Jisung's hair and walking to the door, Jisung following him quickly.

"We're going to be late again" Minho scolded, he didn't like being late.

"It's not that bad, we can just walk faster," Jisung explained, checking the time.

Minho looked at him and narrowed his eyes, tilting his head slightly to the right. Jisung was finding the sight really cute and he tried hard to suppress another lovesick smile.

___

As they arrived at school, Minho immediately left for his course, Jisung finding his freckled friend on his way and walking to class.

"You came with Minho again?" Felix asked

"Yep"

"Ugh, I just wish I didn't live that far, so I could just go with you two" Felix said, whining.

The two boys met Felix during middle school. The boy was isolated, he wasn't good at Korean so he was ashamed of himself, not really bothering to create friendships, until he found Jisung and Minho. The two boys were always glued together, even with their age gap, which made their encounters harder to happen with school timetables.

The three of them become friends quickly, Minho had talked to him because he was always by himself, and Jisung felt that Felix and him were similar enough. Felix learned Korean quickly and created a unique link with the two of them, mostly because of the fact that Jisung and Felix are practically twins. Even though anyone could see the special bond Minho and Jisung had, he never felt out of place, that was just how their friend dynamic worked.

When Jisung and Minho were in their own world, then Felix was out with some other friends from his classes, and the same happens when Jisung and Felix are in their own world, Minho just goes away. None of them are actually bothered by it, they work it well.

Jisung is the only one who doesn't really have friends outside of the two boys. He wasn't the most sociable person, and felt uncomfortable at the idea of discussing with someone else. That was one of the main points Minho highlighted when he talked about Jisung's parent issues.

"If your parents weren't always keeping you at home when they even aren't there, I'm pretty sure your anxiety wouldn't be that high in public places" Minho used to say, but Jisung always denied. He knows his parents love him, they would never hurt him.

___

As Felix was bored to the core in class, he tapped Jisung's shoulder, whispering in his ear

"If you could have a date with someone in this class, who would you choose?" Felix asked. Jisung chuckled at the question, Felix's stupid questions were always a bit surprising at first.

"Mmh, I'm not sure, maybe San or Mingi, they both look cool" Jisung answered, seeing how Felix's mouth widened

"Gosh, that's such a good choice" Felix answered

Jisung had come out to Felix in the beginning of highschool, the latter coming out too. He didn't intend to at first, he just randomly said something that made Felix suspicious, something that may or may not concern Minho's beauty.

Jisung took a lot of the time to actually be able to come out to Minho, but he did it eventually in the beginning of the year, Minho not being bothered by it. Jisung was scared to be judged by him, or worse, to lose him. But he did it anyway, feeling safer by telling him the truth.

~~~

"Minho..." Jisung said, hesitating.

The two boys had been studying in Minho's bedroom for hours but Jisung was restless, his foot shaking anxiously. Minho was stunned to see Jisung this anxious, he never was like that when the two of them were together. He put his hand on his knee, stopping the bounce, and looked at him, waiting for what he wanted to say.

"I wanted to talk to you about something" Jisung said, his voice wavering a bit. Since he came out to Felix, he wanted to reveal his sexuality to Minho. He wanted to be himself fully, and show the world his colors, but he needed to explain this to his best friend firstly. He was terrified.

Minho tilted his hand "Tell me then" He said, softly. He would always try his best to let him feel at ease

"You know when we were kids and we used to watch TV programs" He let a pause, watching Minho nod and he continued "We were always arguing because I never thought that the girl lead was pretty and was disappointed in the male lead for his choice" Jisung explained

"Oh my god, how could you?!" He said, faking offense dramatically "They were always so pretty and you were always annoying with that" He said, joking.

"Yeah.. I realized that the reason wasn't because I didn't find them ugly" He paused, biting his lip "I was just hoping the male lead would choose another love interest... like a male character... you see?" He said, feeling ashamed. He noticed Minho's confused face.

"Are you saying that you're gay?" Minho asked, as if it was nothing

".. Yes.." Jisung said, diverting his gaze to the floor

"Okay, cool!" Minho said, smiling genuinely and continuing his homework.

Jisung stayed stunned at Minho's reaction, did he really not care? He widened his eyes and stared at him. But Minho felt the boy's eyes on him.

"I don't think it's disgraceful, I'm an open person Jisung. You can be whoever you want, you don't have to be shocked, it should be a normal reaction coming from anyone" Minho added, not lifting his eyes from his homework, making Jisung's whole soul feel warmer and safe.