•broken strings• l. h.

Prologue

Do you know the difference between pain and grief?

In the dictionary, grief is defined as a keen mental suffering or distress affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. On the other hand, pain is emphasized with two different meanings: 1. physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness and 2. mental or emotional suffering or torment which is close to grief.

I did experience grief in my life. Not once. Twice. I guess, the side effects come with a double package of suffering and, perhaps, grief is the second effect of pain; or at least the side one.

However, pain never get me physically. I can't say that it never cross my mind to do something as stupid as harming myself, but I couldn't do this to my mom or my sister. I couldn't do this even after my mother's death. The really odd thing was I didn't know why. At first, I thought that I'm the only one in this family who can still hold on of the pressure of anxiety.

It's like we were navigating through a sea of concern and I was the captain of this ship. I had to find a land. But the more I was reaching to a piece of land the more the distance was longer. So I stopped. I gave up fighting something that can't be defeated and, instead, I created my land by bonding two anchors at the end of the ocean. The anchors were my mom and my little sister. But once they both gave way, I did it too.

So here I am, in the middle of the street , waiting for something to literally hit me. To finally end all of this. To finally feel the pain.

The street was elapsed in a tenebrous silence. The sky was broad leaving a bare street beneath me and a slight light from the street lamp far enough from me.

While I was admiring the small ambience around me, a sudden move heard. I wasn't quite sure if I was alone on an empty street, but the slight noise behind me gave clues that I wasn't.

I turned back and flinched at the presence of a teenage boy around my age - I believe- . I couldn't see much since he was two meters away from me, but even in the pale light of the street his blue eyes were glowing like two stars ready to be collapsed on the earth. He was wearing a black sweatshirt and his hair was covered with the hood of his coat.

I sigh in relief after my short panic attack, " You scared me".

" Sorry. I had no intention to scare you". His voice was sincere and calm, something that I'd never heard within a few months. His arms were lifted up in a defense position ensuring me he wasn't going to hurt me.

" It's fine." He put his hands down, teetering them back and fore.

" So... um... what are you doing here?" he asked me putting his hands in his black skinny jean's pockets. I wasn't sure what I was doing either. All I could think was how a fifteen years girl became so lonely with no mother and no sister and with a father ready to leave her soon. I was my family from now on. I was helpless with a life full of expectations and responsibilities. And I didn't know what to do.

" I just needed some space to think" I bluntly answer.

" About what? May I ask", he recurred his defensive move, his hands resting in front of his waist.

Without hesitating and being unconscious I answered him, " Life, future. Everyone has all mapped out".

" And you don't want it?"

I shrugged, " I don't know what I want anymore".

" How come?" he stepped closer to me, still not able to see his face.

" A lot of unfortunate things happened in my life lately".

" Well, that's not true. I mean, you may had some sad moments in your life, but there always has to be some happy ones", he said in a soft question mark at the end of the sentence.

" Like what- mysterious stranger who has all the answers?" I titled my head tugging a smile at the side of my right cheek.

He hummed, etching his dimples on his red cheeks. He moved his bright eyes to the ground, kicking a tiny leaf which may fell from a tree a few minutes ago, when a harsh wind blew on the side of this road.

It was the beginning of September and winter in Australia didn't show too much cold 'till six weeks ago and fortunately started to back out.

I waited for his answer, though it seemed like a forever since I'd heard his voice, " Like your first love, your first ' getting in trouble with friends' he quoted with his fingers, " your first adventure and maybe a little danger. You'll have what everybody has , Skyler. You just have to wait for a little longer".

I frowned in confuse, a slightly gasp escaping through my lips, " How do you know my name?"

He didn't have time to answer because of a raunchy red car passing behind me, making me shiver and turn around caused by my " being too protective" instinct.

I spun back to where I was talking to the mysterious boy, but I only find myself in the middle of the street just like I was few minutes ago with the pale moon light heating up my body from shivering too much .

And the sad part was that I missed the car...