Catholic Devotions!

Just You

I just came home from Adoration following a keynote from the archbishop of my diocese. I brought a backpack chucked full of things I thought I might need: a Bible, the daily Lenten devotional book, the Little Office of Baltimore, a notebook, a religious book...

I brought all these things thinking that I would use one or the other, thinking that maybe, just maybe, God would speak to me through at least one of them.

Then the archbishop gave a talk about the parable of the prodigal son (Bible verses linked in comments). He said that while we can relate to one of the brothers, either the older one who stayed home and didn't cause any trouble or the younger one who went and blew off his fortune, we have both of them in us. Maybe we are like the older son in the fact that we've always stayed loyal to our family and to our church, but maybe we're like the younger one in that we wander mentally. He reminded us that the younger son version of ourselves needs to resist temptation and turn back to God, much like the younger son returning back to his father. God won't hesitate to welcome us back with open arms.

As soon as the archbishop finished speaking and before they had even brought the Monstrance out, I felt a pang, like I'd ran into a brick wall.

I've spent my entire life doing outward things that I thought would bring me closer to God. I've tried to pray the Rosary every day, I've tried to go to Confession frequently, I've worn a veil, I've tried reading the Bible (and gave up halfway through Psalms), and nothing's worked. Every time I prayed, I felt like I was praying for the prayer time to be over. I felt like I was talking to a brick wall.

God doesn't want all that baggage. He doesn't want the younger brother to try and drag what he can back to the father, he just wants the son himself. God just wants you.

When God speaks to us, it probably won't be through words. It'll be through feelings or emotions.

And right now, I think He's telling me to write this devotion. He's telling me that we are enough. We don't need anything to drag a ton of baggage that will help us prove ourselves worthy. God doesn't want us to turn away from Him thinking we're not good enough.

He just wants you.