She steps out from the shadow, the sunlight reveals who she is & the embarrassment pounds loudly in her brain. Her efforts to help pierce through his pride. His eyes cannot hide what his brain is thinking. Out of his lips slip the feelings he had previously hid. His words borage her crumbling identity & fragile heart. Why does she continue to try? Is it possible for one to be so naïve? She attempts to brush away the hair from her face but as the light reaches her tired, tear stained eyes she realizes the truth.
"I am not her... the women he wants... the one he can confidently present before the rest of humanity."
Light shines from deep within her & pilots her thoughts. Once again chaos follows her as if it is her shadow. Distain lays heavy on her from all angles. She confronts her anger & fear as her mind screams,
"BREATHE. JUST BREATHE! Refrain from doubt. Remember who you are! No! You are not WHAT they think of you!! You are a good, smart and honest person. Why would you want to be by his side? Have respect for yourself! Honor all of the struggle, pain & growth you have endured. You don't need to feel embarrassment due to his insecurities. Please just breathe & be exactly who you want to be. Walk confidently."
The tears once again filled her eyes as her mind praised her. It was as if her soil caught on fire. Her muscles strengthened & she held her head high as she proudly stepped farther into the light.
"INVISIBLE, perhaps that is who I would have been... but now I am honest with myself! I will be a pretty face that smiles at those I pass in the street. Attractive will be the least of things I will be remembered for. No more will I let others dictate my worth. I need connection but it will be with those who respect & honor me. Perhaps now I will be to provide a safe place for others to stand along side me."
