Sweet Emotion

Chapter 33

**TW: Use of the f slur**

The next forty minutes was a whirlwind. Steven could barely hear himself think because of how angry he was, and it didn't help that he was still being asked stupid questions. This interview was such a waste of time. He could be doing far better things than being on camera feeling like a stage.

"It's been wonderful having you guys on Tonight," Jimmy thanked, smiling his stupid smile. "Ladies and gentlemen, Aerosmith!! Goodnight all!"

Steven immediately got up as the band performed the outro, refusing to shake Jimmy's hand before he left. He could feel everyone's eyes on him as he exited the stage, and he didn't dare look at them; he knew what he'd see: shock, disappointment, frustration, and maybe even disgust. He didn't blame him, especially not his bandmates, who were probably now pissed off at him for making a scene.

Steven pushed open the door to his dressing room with a forceful shove and slammed it shut behind him. The sound echoed through the small room, amplifying the tension that hung in the air. Now that he had blocked out the outside noise, he could hear how heavy and labored his breathing was and the adrenaline surging intensely through his body as though he had just taken a cocktail of drugs. He leaned against the wall and held his chest. His heart was pounding like it was about to explode. 

The singer shook his head and collapsed into a chair as he replayed the entire interview in his head. Jimmy had acted like such a dick, treating him like he was less than everyone else just because of the gender he preferred to date. It was such a backwards mindset. He was so relieved that he had gotten out of there before Jimmy could further waste his time acting like an even bigger bigot and asking him more insensitive questions. 

Steven held his head in his hands, suddenly aware that he was shaking. He felt like he was about to have a breakdown. He'd been made to look foolish in front of the entire country. He felt completely humiliated.

There was a soft knock at the door.

"Come in," he called, his voice breaking as several tears slipped out.

He quickly wiped them away as Tom came into the room. He didn't want him to see him crying like a baby.

"Steven, what the hell was that?!" Tom demanded. "I said to keep your cool!" He looked both angry and concerned, but he didn't sound nearly as angry as he appeared.

Steven felt a flash of anger at Tom's confrontation. He got up and stood face-to-face with the bassist, his eyes flashing and his hands shaking. "How can I keep my cool when I've just been publicly humiliated on live television in front of the entire country?!" he shouted. Tom didn't seem to understand how much this affected him. "I look stupid!"

Tom's eyes softened as he slowly started to realise just how much this mattered to his friend. "Jimmy made you lose it on purpose, I understand," he said softly, resting his hands on Steven's shoulders. "But remember that it's still tv. Your anger is their entertainment."

Steven pushed Tom's hands away. "Look at how many fucks I give. None. I don't care that it was for entertainment, Jimmy sprung those questions on me and it's only made me look more of a faggot than people think I am!"

"Steven! Don't use that word!" Tom snapped, ducking as Steven hurled a chair across the room.

"I'll say whatever I goddamn want, Tom. You know it's true. He humiliated me."

Tom shook his head in disbelief, his hands on his hips. "You could have handled it better."

"Well, what was I supposed to do? Lie?"

"I told you to keep your cool because now all people are going to talk about is your sexuality and Joe. Not the album, not the tour. Just you and your personal life!