Sweet Emotion

Chapter 34

Steven awoke with a start, his heart pounding in his chest. The room was dark, and he felt disoriented as he let his eyes adjust his surroundings. The sounds of the city hummed in his ears whilst inside everything was quiet.

He lay still for a moment, trying to calm himself from whatever nightmare had woken him up, before turning over and looking at his watch. 1:37am. He groaned and flopped back down onto the mattress. Fantastic. Now he was going to have a hard time getting back to sleep.

Steven stared up at the ceiling, trying to collect himself. He hadn't been able to think about anything other than Sebastian ever since the rest of the band had given him that pep talk. Even whilst he was asleep, he still had found himself dreaming about the conversation they'd had. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps he did have a thing for Sebastian. It felt so right, but yet so wrong.

He felt like he was betraying Joe after being in love with him for years, but he had to accept that Joe had picked Elyssa over him and that all those promises he'd made, all those fantasies Steven had had about being Joe's boyfriend, was nothing more than him just being delusional. It still stung that Joe would rather be with someone who didn't treat him right, but he couldn't change what had happened, only how he dealt with it. If Joe was happy with Elyssa, then he didn't want to get in the way of his happiness.

Sitting up, Steven swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He rubbed his eyes, still feeling a little groggy from being pulled from his slumber like that. Sleep had been elusive, and now that he was awake, his mind was racing again. He was concerned for his and the band's future.

He got out of bed, feeling the carpet beneath his feet as he padded into the kitchen to grab himself a glass of water. He filled the glass all the way to the top and drank it all in one go before refilling the glass and doing the same thing.

Steven set it down and leaned against the counter, replaying vivid memories of the party in his mind. The way Sebastian looked at him. How Sebastian held him in his arms when they kissed, and how his eyes sparkled after they had pulled away. All the laughter, cheering, all the dancing and drinking, it was a night he'd never forget. He closed his eyes, trying to savour the feelings. An electric charge rushed through him, the exact feeling he'd felt as Sebastian's lips moved against his. It made Steven wish that he could kiss him all over again, just to feel that spark again that he'd felt between them.

The singer wandered over to his bed and picked up his journal and pen from the bedside table. He took this journal everywhere with him and he always had it at hand in case he had any song inspiration. His father had gifted it to him for the purpose of writing songs. And right now, Steven's heart was bursting with emotions and words, and he needed to get them out into the open. He flipped to a blank page and started jotting down some lyrics, hoping that this exercise would help him make sense of everything.

Every moment feels like magic

Your love sets me free

When the world is cold and lonely, when the sun refuses to shine

When the night falls hard around us, and the dawn seems far away

I can see your shadow near

Every kiss is like fire, burning with your desire

After what felt like an eternity, he put his pen down, feeling more vulnerable than he'd felt in a long time. As he read through the lyrics, he felt his heartbeat quicken. It was now clear that this kiss meant something deeper to him than he originally thought, that he saw Sebastian more than just a friend, perhaps as a potential partner. Joe was the only guy he'd ever been truly romantically interested in, but Sebastian was... different.