Love and Sarcasm - knj

Every Word

"Hey baby," Namjoon smiled as he kissed his girlfriend on the top of her head before he took a seat next to her.

"Joonie, how did you sleep last night?" She had always been concerned for him, even when he insisted he was fine, she would know better.

Well, she hadn't always been like this. It was actually a fairly new development. One that had started after his attempted suicide a few months ago.

Namjoon had always had depression, he was good at masking it, so no one knew when it got that bad until he overdosed on his antidepressants. His mom found him and called 911 just in time.

After he got out of the hospital a few days later, narrowly avoiding having to spend the next several weeks in an inpatient facility, his girlfriend had gotten a lot more attentive; which was something Namjoon hadn't minded at all.

He actually grew to love the extra affection; knowing that someone really cared about him, someone really wanted him here. He started checking in on her more often too, not wanting her to feel like it was only her that was concerned for him. She had her fair share of hardships as well, and he thought it would be a good thing if they kept each other in check.

He grew to depend on the extra attention she gave him; so when she started to withdraw herself from him, his anxieties and depression began to spike again.

He'd send text after text to her, asking her different questions about her day, telling her about new songs an books he'd found, sending her memes; anything to try to get her attention. She'd always answer eventually, a few hours later, and with her usual sweet and affectionate demeanor.

He'd immediately calm back down, smiling down at his phone as she showered him with praise, and he did the same to her.

But the hours she'd ignored him grew longer, and the excuses became repetitive.

"I fell asleep."

"My phone fell behind my bed."

"I was out to eat with my parents."

"I turned off my ringer."

He started to expect them, used to receiving nothing but silence from the messages he'd send her, and getting very similar mundane excuses when he'd ask her to go out with him. Even when he'd check up on her to make sure she was doing okay, her answers grew less and less enthusiastic, and frankly, less honest.

He thought it was her depression acting up on her. He felt bad, knowing how bad it can be when you feel alone and withdraw from everyone around you. He didn't want her to feel as alone as he once had.

Graduation was only days away and the stress of finals was heavy on everyone's minds; and even the stress of having to go off to college or get a job was starting to set in. He decided to surprise her, get her favorite flowers and takeout from her favorite restaurant, along with a goodie bag filled with all her favorite snacks and such. He smiled as he tucked a love note he'd written into the bouquet of flowers, putting it down on the passengers seat along with everything else as he started his car.

Her parent's had been strict, she was never allowed to have Namjoon over, and he knew knocking on the door and asking to come up wasn't going to get him very far; but he'd already grown accustomed to sneaking into her window at the back of the house.

He parked a block away and grabbed everything from his car and walked over to her house and around to the backyard. The sun had already set, and with the lights on in her bedroom, he didn't need to get too close to the window before he saw that there was no need for him to walk any further.