Cruel World

I Like My 'Candy'

A/n: This whole story is a collab with urnotthesupreme ❤️❤️

My eyes focused on the reflection in the mirror. The reflection of a sad, broken, scared, used little girl staring back at me. My eyes scanned over my body, looking at every scar, every bruise, every burn mark, every cut. My eyes, the empty, desolate pools of color that were once so full of life.

I don't recognise myself anymore.

I always hoped that someone would notice, that someone would ask if I was alright. I wanted so desperately to tell someone what I was feeling, or what i wasn't feeling. This seemingly eternal emptiness, a certain unexplainable numbness to everything but pain, and hurt.

Thinking about that one person i obsess over even though i know that i will never have them, that one girl who i thought my secret was safe with, all those strangers in my new school, the stares i get as i walk down the hallway, clutching my books, head down, praying to anything that would listen to make them stop looking at me.

i stepped away from the mirror and grabbed the clothes that were hanging from the top of the door. i pulled on a black hoodie and an oversized nirvana band shirt over the top, before stepping into my cream colored cargo pants. i stood back in front of the mirror, using concealer to attempt to cover the dark, swollen eye bags that were under my eyes, almost like dark clouds. i put on a little bit of mascara and eyeliner before shoving it back in my make up bag and putting it in my school bag.

i exited the bathroom and sat on my bed, pulling on some socks and black, scuffed up converses. my dark hair hung in loose waves, and i was too tired to bother with it, so i just left it as it was and slung my bag over my shoulder, walking out the house and to school.

it was a twenty minute walk to school, and my mother never offered to drop me off, she was always too busy watching tv or something. i trudged along the sidewalk, the bottom of my pants getting wet from all the puddles on the ground. dark clouds hung in the sky above me, like a never ending dark ocean stretching across the horizon. i had one earbud in, blasting 'doll parts' by hole. i decided to take a little detour to 7 11 and get something to drink.

i chose a sugar free red bull and a white ultra monster, placing them on the counter and digging around my pockets for any spare change. i dropped the right amount of coins on the counter and smiled at the man behind the desk and walked out, continuing my way to school

my phone vibrated in my pocket, which is unusual because i never get any notifications, so i pulled it out and saw i got a text from my dealer.

sally: hey kid got sum new shit 🍃💉💊2day. U should come by l8r and i'll sell it 2 u 4 cheap😉

i smiled a little before replying:

me: i'll drop by after school, around 4, is that cool?

sally: yep that's good 👍

i put my phone back in my pocket just as i arrived at school.

i scurried through the halls that were crowded with teenagers, trying to make myself invisible as i hung my head and hurried to my locker. i pulled my slightly scrunched up, torn timetable out of my pocket and checked what i had first. english with mrs mayfair-richards first period, and then biology with miss sherman second, religious studies with miss hayes third, food tech with mrs mccray, study period and then finally history with miss goode. most of the teachers at this school were alright, except for mr burke, who i absolutely despise. he would always stare at me whenever i was in his class, or when he saw me in a hallway or something, it made me so uncomfortable.

the bell rang, shaking me out of my thoughts as i slammed my locker shut and hurried off to class, running up the stairs and to mrs mayfair richards class. i sat in my usual seat in the back corner of the classroom, right next to the window. mrs mayfair richards was walking around placing papers on everyone's desk, smiling at me as she placed mine in front of me. "quiz time!" she said enthusiastically as she walked back to the front of the room. there was a collective groan from everyone in the class.