Re:Oneshots (Proably Discontinued...? idk)

Subaru has a Manic Episode

Subaru has a manic episode

Subaru's not able to sleep (as usual...), but this time, his thoughts seem to be racing throughout his mind, they're going so fast he can't keep up with his brain. When morning comes, he doesn't feel a bitter sense of exhaustion like he usually does. No, he feels even more energetic than before. He feels a sense of... excitement?

The day goes by, and yet it feels as if it's going in slow motion, he needs something to do. So, he cleans up the mansion, even when Ram and Frederica hadn't asked him to, even when the job done was rather sloppy. Day goes by too slow, so he decides to write down his thoughts to make sense of it all, and he writes, writes, writes, and now Beatrice stares at him with a worried expression, as it's nearing nighttime. It's now he notices he hasn't eaten at all during the day, almost like he... forgot to (the thought hadn't even crossed his mind).

As the week goes by, his rather desperate sense of need to put on a mask for others boils over to his state of mind, and that's when his behavior begins to completely spin out of control.

original prompt by qxvcp in the Reactionist's Discord

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I can't sleep...

again... I can't sleep.

The Moonlight pears out of his windows, its around 3-4am. He can't seem to think straight.

"Water..." Subaru utters out as he gets up. He yawns and yet his thoughts are jammed all over the place. 

Cold water is probably best for me, he thinks.

He slides himself over to the side of his bed before pushing him hands down to get himself up. He feels... dizzy. 

It takes a few moments to get his body to stand still. Rubbing his eyes which causing them to be a bit blurry but it doesn't matter.

He gets slippers on that were under his bed before gets up from the bed. 

He starts walking over to his door before opening it, entering it as his feet step on each part of the wood before finally closing the door. He is outside of the hallway now. 

"Water..." He says to himself as he walks down the hall, before stepping down the spiral staircase at one of the corners of the mansion.

Making his way down them, he reaches the bottom floor and heads into the kitchen. 

Making his way to the door, before opening it. The moonlight escapes into the kitchen as the windows pear though it. 

He walks down the small aisle. Sliding his fingers across the edges of the counters before reaching a sink.

He moves over for a small glass, before turning on the sink. 

He made sure to do it half way just so it was less noisy at night.

After he got his water, he drinks a bit of it, deciding it would be better to add 2-3 ice cubes. And which he does, pulling out two but grabs a extra one to chew on.

He slowly puts the two in the glass and puts the other one in mouth to start chewing to get some activity in it.

He then starts to walk back from the kitchen as he chews on the ice with his water.

He walks back to his room as he chews the rest of ice. he's still chewing it as he makes it back to his room and sits the cold water down. He chews the ice before finishing it up. He then cold water and leaves the ice to melt in the water. 

He then quickly goes back to bed. 

---

It's a new morning, like every other day. Subaru gets dressed with his Butler clothes. Slipping on shoes and stuff. 

Sliding the sleeves down his arms as he looks out the window. It's another day.

But... He feels a bit empty and too much of empty at the same time. Was that the best way to describe it? He thought to himself.

He checks his metia to find it's a about a hour before work normally starts. But he decides he should start working with anything anyways. He needs his mind to be fleshed out as he... still.. can't think straight. 

He remembers to last night and just assumes it was not enough. But probably seeing everyone's faces today will be a-ok.

He exits his room rather quickly and walks rather quickly to the closet where they kept some of the tools for cleaning there. He had too much on his mind.

"Just Clean... Just Clean..." Why was he talking like this? He sounded weird. So he just decided to be quiet for now. Everyone was still sleeping as it was around 6 am in the morning.

He takes out a broom and starts to roam around for spots.

He starts to clean and clean. however there were a lot of spots that were already clean. So even the smallest change it detail he decided to sweep.

He threw away the broom back into the closet before heading down a different spiral staircase in the other part of the mansion.

I need something... anything, I need a rush of excitement!

for the next hour, he starts doing the chores that normally every other staff would do.

Washing clothes, washing dishes. He does it all too fast though, its not bad but its also not good.

Subaru is cleaning when he checks his metia. It's around 7:15. Around the time he would normally wake up and start doing chores.

He really didn't do it to be nice, rather something to do. He was bored so he started to exercise as well. Started to play with his fingers, Run, Anything he could do. If was not doing anything, he was wasting time.

As he was Running around the garden, Frederica comes up to him.

"Hey, Subaru." Frederica does a friendly wave as he walks up to him.

"Oh, Hey Frederica." He responses rather shallow. but Frederica bushes it off.

"Me and the Rest of the Staff noticed that a lot of the housework was.. done. Do you know anything about it?"

"I did it." As of right now, Subaru was jumping in place and shaking his legs. It was like he could not stop moving. It was a bit strange.

"Why.. did you do them all? We never really.. aske-"

"It was simply because I wanted something to do, sorry about that." Subaru says.

"I mean, It's not to apologize for. There are some stuff you missed so we are going to do those things, But thanks for helping us clear out a bit of our work today, Subaru. Intended or not, It helps." Frederica smiles with her fang teeth. "Well then, I shall be going." Frederica turns and leaves quietly.

Subaru does not say bye but continues lapping around the garden.

He does this for... 2 hours... straight. 

Ram has been looking for the past 10 minutes outside one of the windows as she watched Subaru do his movement. It had a feeling of dread, it was uncomfortable for her to even continue to watch and so she goes back to whatever work she had to do.

Subaru after a while is approached by Emilia with Puck on her head.

Subaru stops his running but keeps on moving his arms and legs on it. 

"Hey Subaru." Emilia says while smiling at him warmly, she expects him to do something normally like Subaru would do. But... nothing comes to the air.

"Hey Emilia." Subaru responses with with no pitch of volume, while it was a bit lower.

"You doing.. uhm.. okay?" Emilia utters out.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Something up?" Subaru responses with.

"It's just you been moving in place and running in this same area of the garden for the past two hours without stopping..." Emilia uses her finger to scratch the side of her head while she closes her eyes. 

Subaru stares for a moment before stopping his movement. Pulling out his Metia, its well over 11:30.

He looks back up Emilia as he slides his metia back into his pocket. "I didn't have anything to do and so this is what I been doing."

"You know Subaru, Have you eaten actually?" Puck decides to utter out.

"Yeah." Subaru says, but the wind blows past both Emilia and Subaru at the exact moment.

"Well then Subaru, I have to go study now. Take care!" Emilia waves her hand up high as she waves by with a open smile.

Why can't I be like her?

Subaru had a thought in his mind, his heart hurts like hell due to non stop running. So he finally takes a break, sitting in one of the small white bench spot that is in the middle of the garden.

Around hours later, he is in.. a library? with a book and pen. writing.. and writing.. and writing.

The whole vibe that Subaru had when he came in made her uncomfortable. His eyes were not of light and sparkles but of coal and dust. Like he saw something that made him unable to think properly.

Subaru has been writing non stop, every so often, he switches a page and the sound of the pen going though with the ink to write and write. 

What could be so big of a story that its been hours of writing? It's weird, I suppose.

Beatrice decides to speak up. "What are you writing about?" 

"Story." A one word sentence from him is all what Beatrice got from Subaru, she even tried asking questions that would be longer then one word. But he ended up not saying anything.

He checks his metia to see what time it is. 

3:45.

Subaru's body wanted energy while Subaru's brain was beyond exhausted. Forming small or short words was really all he could do.

He stares at the scribbles he did. 

Beatrice tries to peak at them as high as she can see, but he closes the book before its too late.

Subaru gets up with the book and then walks over to the door to exit. 

He turns to Beatrice which has a worried expression. "Thanks for- time."

Subaru leaves which leaves Beatrice beyond uncomfortable. 

"It's best If I let everyone know of him and keep it from him. I don't like this."

Subaru is in hi- *swish* Room and sits on his bed doin- *swoosh* 

Subaru's eyes look up to the pen. Now, with the tip in red.

He starts writing with the red colored tip of the pen while his body feels more drained and wants more.

Subaru's brain decides to put the book and pen in his counter drawer and sleep as it would be better.

With how exhausted he is, its better to work out. But... of course, It never does.

Nothing will change.

Before he goes to sleep, he realizes he has not even eaten anything. He's hungry but... that's okay.

I will eat something tomorrow...

...Right?

------

It's been about a week now, a straight week. He has done nothing but be active, waking up early to do everyone's chores. Even if they asked to stop or not.

At one moment, he woke up at 4am and decided to start working for the entire day. Sleep was useless as he could not be active while was sleeping.

Everyone is starting to be worried about him. Ram didn't go to sleep last night and watched as Subaru did everyone's work in the middle of the night. Then started to run in a circle in the front of the Garden for... 5.. hours.. straight. It was a cold night too...

Someone as him would never act like this, did we do something? why is acting like this?

Subaru once again went to sleep because his body could not handle being awake for a full day at a time.

2 AM

Subaru is sleeping while the door starts to crack open.

A young girl, more precise, Beatrice. Entered his room slowly. 

she needed to find out what went wrong.

She decided to first check the book he always wrote in.

Walking over to the counter, she slowly opens each drawer before finally finding the book.

Back when he grabbed it, The book had nothing on it. Now It had a start in the front of it.... In red... It smelt bad too.

She opens the book and too her horror she sees the messages all over the paper though hundreds of paper.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD, DONT EAT, DONT SLEEP, THEY CANT GO INTO YOUR HEAD IF YOU SLEEP"

The words were drawn in both red and black ink. Beatrice immediately realized...

The red Ink was blood.

She checked the pen, and sure enough. There were stains of blood and black on the pen.

"W-What..." Beatrice looked over to Subaru's sleeping body.

She feels awful for doing it, but decides to roll the blanket back to- Jesus... fucking... christ.

There are wounds all over his arms and legs.

Noticeable Black ink and Dried blood cover self harm marks of all the blood. 

Beatrice can't vomit but rather gagged as she stepped back a few times.

She starts to tear up as she looks on the ground.

"Oh, Hey Beako."

Beatrice immediately looks up to see Subaru watching her with a blank expression.

"Why... are you doing this, I suppose?"

"Get's my body more active, But I know its not ok." Subaru chuckles to himself, its black eyebags over his eyes.

"My Mental Health has not been the greatest. I never had the guts to tell anyone but Atleast you know."

The Scene ends with Subaru hugging Beatrice as she cries. Not only for herself, but for Natsuki Subaru.

The same moonlight glosses over the window.

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just to confirm, he gets better after this and returns normal. Just a period of self doubt is all!