The Unexpected

I Don't Need Pity

Christian and I eat a small dinner and mostly just talk. I don't know why I am the way I am around him but it kind of scares me. "So, how exactly did you get into photography?" "Well, my dad got me a disposable camera when we were on a road trip and I just fell in love with it." "Like you have with me?" "Easy tiger." He laughs and I blush. "You're adorable when you blush. It shows your sensitivity." I smack him playfully. "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means you hide behind this badass persona and you never show all your emotions, just anger and stubbornness." "I have pretty good reasons for that. I've been hurt too much that I've just hidden everything away. Kind of in a locked box in my heart." "Well, I hope that I can one day earn the key and unlock it." With that, Christian leans in and kisses me, not with hunger but with passion and lots of it. I savor this feeling for as long as I can while intertwining my fingers in Christians hair. He pulls away for air and I smile. "You will. With time. I want you to be the first to open it." I whisper and kiss him again. He licks my bottom lip and I part my lips, his tongue instantly invading my mouth. Our tongues glide together in a slow passion that seems to last forever. We are interrupted by someone clearing their throat. I pull away and see Christian had begin to take off his shirt, his tie already discarded on the floor. "What Sawyer? I was busy." "I'm sorry sir, your mother is at the door." "Shit. My mother." He looks at me panicked. "It's okay. I can leave or stay. Your choice." Christians face shows an expression of fear mixed with panic. "Okay, obviously you can't decide. Just call me your girlfriend for now. Okay?" "Okay." Chrisitan grabs my hand, and I squeeze it reassuringly. Christian leads me to his foyer where his mother is standing impatiently, tapping her foot. She freezes when she sees me and our hands interlocked. 

"Christian, who is this?" Christians mother asks, dumbfounded. Christian stutters and looks at the floor. I take away my hand and walk towards his mother and grab her hand in mine. "I'm Xena, Christians girlfriend. You must be his mother, what a pleasure to meet you. He's told me how you beautiful you are but I disagree, you're drop dead gorgeous. So young." She blushes. "I'm Marie. Pleasure to meet you Xena, Christian hasn't told me about you." Marie says, shaking my hand. "We've only been together for a couple weeks." "Oh, well, nice to meet you. You are a different type of girl than I would imagine Christian would be with, no offense." Marie says, eyeing me up and down. "None taken, I've heard it plenty of times from friends' parents. He likes me for how unique I am. I like him for his sensitivity." I say, confidence noticeable in my voice. I turn to look at Christian who is still looking at the floor. I walk to him and lock our fingers together again, squeezing his hand. He looks up and smiles, a blush clear in his face. "Sorry, I was a bit nervous about your meeting each other." I nod and he flashes a genuine smile at me. I notice his shirt is unbuttoned too far. I squeeze his hand and look pointedly at his shirt. He lets go of my hand and fixes it. "Oh sorry Mother, come, let's sit in the lounge." Christian says, directing us to the lounge, his business voice noticeable. I raise an eyebrow but decide against saying anything. We all sit and Sawyer gives us drinks. "So son, besides your lady friend, how is life?" "Great. Better with her by my side. The company is still going up, nothing has happened really." "Well, how is she?" She says cocking her head at me. She is talking like I'm not there. "Xena is fine. Great actually. She brought me out of a dark place. Mother, you shouldn't talk like she isn't sitting right here." Christian says through gritted teeth. I place both my hands on one of his. He looks at me and I shake my head. "Anyways, does she snoop? Does she know about your other....girls?" I raise an eyebrow at her. "Mother! If you are not going to address her like she is present, I think you should leave." Christian says, his voice nearly a growl. His mother huffs and stands, then leaves the room quickly.

I hear the door slam and flinch. Christian shakes his head and pulls me close into a hug. "I'm sorry for my mother. She is always like this." Christian sighs. "What the hell was she doing?" I scoff. "She has this thing about the women I date who aren't uptight and prissy like her." "What did she mean other girls?" "Past girlfriends. All two of them. One was a cheater, the other was a psycho obsessive girlfriend." Christian laughs. "Well, I'm not either so...we have no problems." I giggle and Christian smiles for the first time since his mother set foot in the house. I stand and pull up Christian with me. He gives me a questioning glance and I just pull myself close to him. He wraps his arms around me. He kisses my head and I listen to his breathing and heart beat. "Why'd you flinch when the door slammed?" "Damn. I thought you wouldn't notice." Christian pulls away. "Of course I noticed. You look like you were in pain." I sit on the couch and Christian pulls me into his lap so I'm facing him and straddling him. "Well, my dad abused me. It all started when I was 17. My mom died in a car accident. She was killed on impact but I was in the car too. The truck hit the drivers side, killing my mom but I was saved. I came out with a broken wrist, bruises, and a few stitches. My mom didn't make it no matter how hard I tried to keep her conscious. Well, about a month after her funeral, my dad got super drunk. He came home and I was asleep. He came in my room yelling and swinging for me. He beat me really hard. He pulled me from school and homeschooled me. I only had half a year left but he insisted. He beat me every day, threw profanities at me." I let out a sob and curl into Christians lap. He puts his arms around me protectively. "Well, I wasn't 18 yet so I couldn't leave. I had to wait 3 more months. I didn't think I could. I couldn't. I self harmed, starved myself. He still beat me. Then, the day came when I turned 18. I didn't have a party or anything. Just me. I was packing because I had become friends with Kris so I was moving into her apartment with her. I had just finished packing my last thing when he came stumbling in my room. He yelled and slapped me really hard. I screamed at him he couldn't do this anymore. He grabbed me, restrained me, then..." I let out another sob. "Shh. It's okay. I'm here babe, I'm not going anywhere." Christian whispers in my ear and kisses my head. "He r-r-raped me. Twice. I screamed but he covered my mouth. When he was done, he ate me out. I was handcuffed to the bed. I couldn't move. When he finished, he kicked me out with all of my stuff. I called Kris and she came to get me as fast as she could. I broke down and told her everything. She immediately called the cops when we got to her apartment and they arrested him the next day. Thankfully, I didn't get pregnant but I was still scared. I finally got over it. I still flinch when someone yells." 

Christian is quiet while I talk, watching me closely and I can see the pity in his eyes. He cares but I don't need pity. I stand up only to be pulled onto his lap again, him holding me close. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have gone through that. I'm so very sorry. If I was there, I would've killed him. I love you. I'd never force you to do anything. Ever. I love you." Christian kisses me but I don't kiss back. His words are still sinking in, his pity. I don't need pity! I'm sick of everyone's pity. I stand and this time, he just sits there, staring at me, shocked. I stomp away and to the bathroom. I lock the door and the tears fall before I can stop them. I hear Christian walking up the stairs and down the hallway. He's searching for me. He won't find me and if he does, I'm not coming out. I wait and then hear nothing. Then, a lady's footsteps come into the hall. I hear Christian says something quietly to her. Then a knock on the door. "Miss?" It's Ms Kingsman. "Can you open the door? Please?" "No. I can't." "Mr Filler wants you to move away then. Please." "Why?" "He is going to force it open." I stand and move to the bathtub, curling my legs close to me. "Xena? Are you moved?" Christian says quietly thought the door. "Yes." I say quieter. The door bursts open, falling to the floor. I scream and Christian runs to me and grabs me in his arms. I grasp his shirt tightly and hold on for dear life. He walks to the room, and places me on the bed, then goes to the door and closes and locks it. He walks back over to me and sits next to me. "Why'd you walk away?" He asks calmly. I look at him and see his concern in his expression. I look at my fingers intertwined in his. "After my father went away, everyone treated me like a pity case. That's all I've ever seen on my family's face, is pity. I hate it. It makes me so mad when people have that look of pity in their eyes when they look at me. Please don't make me see that in yours." I say, looking into Christians dark blue irises. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I won't, no more pity. Just love, concern, and humor. That's all. I love you." Christian leans forward and kisses me, this time, I kiss back with just the same passion that he has. When we pull away, there is nothing harmful between us, just love and emotion.