Bancroft - Peaky Blinders Reverse Harem x Reader

Chapter 37

I don't say a word to Tommy in the car.

Hundreds of sentences form on my tongue, but I find myself unable to voice any of them. I planned a whole speech as I cleaned and re-bandaged my thigh, as I got dressed, picking out my outfit more meticulously than I ever have before. So many thoughts run through my head, I don't know where to even begin to make sense of them all.

Tommy drives us along country roads, until he turns right, and we cut across a meadow. He keeps going until the road is vanished from view behind us, and we're surrounded by trees on either side. Yellow dots cover the grass until they're more prominent than even the green, catching my eyes everywhere I look.

Buttercups.

Tommy opens my door for me, and takes my hand to help me out of the car. Even though our skin is separated by his leather glove, I can still feel the echo of his touch long after he's pulled away to grab a blanket and wicker basket from the backseat of the car.

I'm wordless as he lays the blanket over the grass, and places his hands at my hips, helping lower me to the ground.

"Thank you," I tell him, slightly breathless.

"I didn't know what you like in your sandwiches," he says. "Polly seemed to think mustard and ham, but she's also done chicken."

"Polly made these?" I ask as he begins to pull food from the basket.

"She was all too happy to. Seems to be under the impression you're on some sort of hunger strike in rebellion ever since she asked you to feed us."

I try to stifle a laugh, but before I can help it, set it free. Tommy glances at me at the sound, his face softening.

"I really like Polly," I tell him.

"She likes you too." He leans back, pouring whiskey into two glasses. "Hasn't tried to ship you off on a boat to New York, yet, either. By her own standards, that makes her fonder of you than Ada."

"Ada." My eyes suddenly widen. "I was supposed to meet her at the Garrison after the horse truck job. She must be back in London by now."

"She'll be back up again." Tommy hands me a glass. "I'll give you her number, so you can call."

I lift my glass in the air, turning it so the sunlight catches every facet. "To what are we toasting?" I ask Tommy.

He lifts his own glass. "To Polly's sandwiches," he says.

"To Polly's sandwiches," I echo, and we clink.

I speak again a few moments later, with the whiskey still warm in my throat. "You're not smoking."

"No," he agrees. "Not yet."

"Why?" I ask.

"I hadn't thought to." He looks as surprised as me at his own admission. "Suppose you don't need to at a picnic, eh?"

I pluck a grape from its vine, turn it over in my fingers. "You have the first one," I say, holding it out for Tommy.

He raises his eyebrows. "Didn't realise you were superstitious," he says, his fingers brushing mine as he takes it and puts it in his mouth.

"Superstitious?"

"Old custom," he explains. "The host always tries the food first, in case of poison."

I chew my own grape, and swallow it down. "If you try to kill me, I hope you'll be more creative than to use poison."

"Do you?" He asks. "It was good enough for Romeo and Juliet."

"Shakespeare got it all wrong," I frown. "They ought to have shot each other in the head. That's true love."

Tommy's cheeks lift into a smile. "You and your guns."

"You made me this way." I dust my hands off and pick up a sandwich square. "Told me I had to learn to defend myself. Remember?"

"I do. Should have known then, I was creating a monster."

I'm silent for a moment. "I worry I'm not monster enough," I confess quietly. "That I'm too weak for any of this. I... two men broke into my house. Shortly before I came here. They wanted my father's money. I shot them to pieces. It was my first time..." I blink tears away from my eyes. I never thought I'd talk about it. "Sometimes I feel like it's still happening. I have weird moments where I'm hiding in that closet again, completely powerless. Just waiting."

"Look at me," Tommy says softly. He tilts my head up with his fingers beneath my chin. "I spend half my life still stuck in those tunnels in France," he says. "It's never stopped me from becoming powerful. And it won't stop you either."

"What if I can't be powerful?" I whisper.

He says, "You already are."

He cups my face between his hands. I'm lost staring into his eyes, and when he rubs his thumb across my lower lip, I stop breathing.

He hesitates, gauging my reaction. The moment lingers before us as we both wait in anticipation. We know intrinsically that things will never be the same again.

My eyes flutter shut as he leans in, and he brushes his lips against mine in the softest, most gentle kiss.

Our foreheads press together, and my eyes are still closed, trying to savour this moment. I want it to last forever.

"When you want happiness," he murmurs, "you go to John. When you want comfort, go to Arthur. And if you ever want to submit all your pain to someone else, go to Michael. But... if by any chance, I can do those things for you, you come to me. Alright?"

It feels like flowers blooming in my chest. It feels like apple juice and rain, a plunge into a cold lake. "Alright," I whisper against his lips.

This time, when he kisses me, he presses his lips firmly against my own. Dominant, possessive, claiming me each time we break and then meet again. When his lips part slightly, his tongue pushes against my mouth, and my whole body clenches in response.

My hands are at his neck, pulling him closer, as my head spins in ecstasy. He brushes his tongue softly against mine, and I never knew this could feel so good.

I gasp softly when we finally part, aware my brain is screaming for oxygen. Tommy's eyes are still focused on me. He links his fingers through mine, and brings my hand to his lips, kissing me there.

And then he's lying down, pulling me with him, until we're resting together with my head on his chest. He presses his face against my hair, and I can hear his heartbeat, a steady and resolute thud in his chest. It's the most dependable sound in the world.

"We ought to get back," he finally says, after what could be hours of holding each other. "Need to prepare for tonight."

I jerk upright at once. "I thought you said no more night jobs."

"It's not work, princess." He runs a hand reassuringly up my arm. "You'll see."