BLUSHING//L.S.

Chapter XV

Harry had washed and changed himself in a pair of blue shorts that the older boy gave him, hope clear in his eyes that this was a gesture of care and not mere moral duty. But he knew that Louis would never do something just out of moral duty. After he changed, they lingered by the toilet door, words too heavy to be spoken, especially for the little boy.

Harry could hear his own heart beating fast and loud in his chest, as they stood there, Louis keeping his eyes on him still and firm. He didn't know what to do: he came there to talk, but now he was a puddle of mixed emotions, still flustered by what had happened.

Louis on his side was pretending to not be affected by Harry's presence, yet he had a weird feeling at the pit of his stomach that he couldn't identify. Part of him wanted Harry to leave his room, but the other part wished to just cling onto him as tight as he could.

-So, uhm.. I think I... should be leaving...- Harry said, voice rasp.

He stayed still, avoiding his eyes. He just looked at the ground, desperately searching for better things to say, things interesting enough that would convince Louis to not let him go. But there was nothing leaving his mouth.

-Do you want to leave Harry? - Louis asked, staring deeply into his eyes.

The curly boy didn't answer, too shy to say what he really wanted. But somehow, Louis managed to understand it. He softly grabbed him by his wrist and directed him on his bed.

Under the covers, Harry cuddled tight to Louis, burying his face in his neck. He put his arms around him, blushing at his own actions but glad that the older boy couldn't see it. He felt safe, and when Louis hand went into his curls, softly caressing him, he let out a muffled satisfied sound and felt tears in his eyes. He couldn't believe what was happening, but he never wanted to leave that bed ever again.

-I'm sorry – he heard Louis say. He didn't move from his position, unsure that what he heard was real. -I'm sorry for what I did...- he explained.

At that point, Harry moved his head to look at him.

-It's okay...- he whispered.

-No, it's not. I've been a jerk and you.. You don't deserve it – Louis said, feeling his throat burn at the words he found the courage to say.

-I talked with Zayn... - Harry said. Louis tensed up; discomfort clear on his face. -About him and Liam... he said you're a great friend- he added, hoping this would make Louis feel better.

But the boy didn't say a word, once again eyes lost somewhere that only he knew. Harry felt so bad for him and the fact that he didn't know what to do just made things worse.

He moved again, freeing his arms, and then brought a finger to Louis' bruise on his eye, just softly touching it.

-You can talk to me... - he said, almost begging him to talk and tell him everything. -I see you Lou- he added, his voice soft like silk.

Louis had to fight the urge to cry at those words, so he looked away from Harry, because he swore that if he looked into his eyes once again, he could have gotten lost.

-Sometimes... we need to pretend to be something, just to survive...- he said, sadness pouring from every single word. Harry felt a couple of tears fall from his eyes. -We hurt others to protect ourselves, yet still fail...- he kept going, his own hand automatically going to the bruise and touching Harry's hand that was still lingering there.

-You don't have to pretend with me...- Harry said, voice small.

-I know. And that scares me even more...- Louis answered.

-We can be scared together- the little boy said.

Louis didn't answer: he couldn't find the courage to tell him that no, they couldn't be scared together. They couldn't be together at all. He wasn't brave enough for that.

And Harry was going to say something, when all of sudden they heard a loud knock on the door. Louis jumped on his feet as fast as he could, pushing Harry away from him.

-Yes?!- he screamed, without opening the door. His eyes were wide and scared.

-It's Paul- someone said from outside the room. And in a second, Louis calmed down. He felt his muscles relax and opened the door.

Harry looked over: a boy with brown hair and dark eyes stood there. He looked a lot like Louis but was definitely taller and older.

-Hey there- he said, looking into the room and seeing Harry sitting on the bed, messy hair and blushed cheeks.

-He's my course mate, he slept here- Louis said fast and dry.

-Hi man, I'm Paul, Louis' brother- he explained, still looking at Harry that just stayed there, too weirded out by that whole morning to say anything.

-Hi... 'm Harry...- he said in a whisper, embarrassed by what was going on.

Then Paul directed his eyes on Louis, and suddenly his stare became worried. He tried to be as quiet as he could, so Harry wouldn't hear him.

-Louis... dad's coming home. You should fix yourself and he should go away...- Paul said, pity in his eyes.

-He's just my friend...- Louis tried to say, not knowing if he was trying to hide the evidence or just to let Harry stay more with him.

-I know... but he should go home anyway. Haven't you learned by now? - Paul explained. And Louis felt his heart ache at the memory of what Paul was referring to. So, he nodded and closed the door.

-Harry, you have to go- he said sternly, anxiety now rising in his chest. -Put those on and go away, I'll bring your jeans later- he added, throwing a pair of sweatpants at the boy.

-What... why? - he asked timidly, mad that the moment of comfort between him and Louis was over.

-You just have to fucking go alright? I have no time or desire to explain more now- he barked at Harry, making the little boy whimper.

When Harry was done changing, he walked him downstairs.

-Can we meet later? - Harry tried to ask. But Louis didn't seem to hear it, head elsewhere, so he didn't dare to ask again, suddenly feeling like a burden to the older boy.

They got to the door and Louis sprung it open, gesturing Harry to go out.

-See you? - the little boy asked, desperate for any form of affection from Louis.

But he just nodded slightly and closed the door harshly, the loud noise making Harry's heart jump in his chest.