Intimate moments by eliesflowers on ao3 feat chaoter 4 created by city citrus

Capter 3 chemistry by eliseflowers

pov Sound

It all started because of this stupid chemistry project. And our dumb classmates.

I was rushing towards the classroom, almost out of breath because I was already late. Suddenly I heard the sounds of footsteps approaching. It seemed like the other person was in a hurry too. I turned my head to see who was behind me and it was no one other but him . We entered the classroom at the same time, completely out of breath we apologized for being late while everybody in the room was staring at us.

"Make them do the project together!" somebody yelled.

"Great idea," the teacher nodded, smiling.

"But," I wanted to object.

"But what, Saran? Is there a problem?"

I was silent.

I didn't want to look at him and didn't want to see his reaction either. Bet he had something to say.

"Yeah, you practically live together!" Said someone from the class. I wanted to punch them all.

"It's fine," he said. "We can do it." I finally looked at him, he seemed so calm and collected as if nothing happened between us. As if all those walls were only in my head. He said it so confidently that it made me pissed. He didn't even ask me whether I was fine. Because I wasn't. I was freaking out.

"We can do it" was echoing in my head all day.

"We can do it" was haunting me in my sleep.

"We can do it" was the phrase he was willing to say when the teacher asked him to do a project with me.

"We can do it" was not the phrase he was willing to say when I asked him to try being more than friends.

* * *

"My place or yours?" says the message from the contact named "DONT CALL AND TEXT THIS NUMBER. W" and I chuckle at the look of the contact name. What a drama queen. I ignore the text.

Win: you can't go to mine because my mom knows about everything. it'll be weird

Sound: mine knows about everything too

Sound: but you can come

I am pathetic.

I can say nothing.

I don't know what to do right now.

Win: i'll be there at 5

Win: ok?

I don't respond.

It's 5 p.m. and he is right here at my door. I don't know how to act. I open the door and say nothing, he walks in as if he's always welcome here, without saying a word either. I decide to break the silence.

"Seriously," I say, "You know I suck at chemistry. I will be of no use to you in this project. You could've done it yourself, you didn't have to come here."

"What if I wanted to?" he responds.

"But what if I didn't want you to?" my voice cracks a little. "What if I don't want you here?"
He doesn't say anything, just goes straight into my room. I don't get him. I try to hold back my tears as I follow him inside my room.

We don't talk about anything besides the stupid project. I don't understand anything so I just sit there and nod. And he knows it. He always did chemistry for the two of us. I was always just sitting there and nodding.

POV Win
Sitting here in his room is not easy for me at all. I have been questioning this decision for a couple of days and I thought I came here for a reason but everything I wanted to say, everything I had in my head just vanished the second he opened the door.

I took this project as a sign, as the reason to finally talk. I braced myself. I thought I was ready. Ready to be open with my feelings.

I tried to seem calm and collected and hoped I'm not see-through.

When he said he didn't want me here something inside me cracked. But I deserved it. I deserved every bad word, every curse he had in his mind about me. I deserved all of that.

Yet, there are a lot of things I want to say to him right now, but it is so hard for me to open up, even to him. I am scared of my own feelings, I am scared to admit them. I am scared to reveal all the things that I have been trying to avoid. My hands are shaking and my voice is cracking as I'm trying to say something project-related. He notices it and looks up from his textbook, looking me in the eyes and I look into his. Mine start watering. We sit in silence.