The Soldier and The Spy: Jay Halstead- Episode 6

Chapter 4

Present Day

Tess slept soundly, the deepest sleep he'd seen her have since she'd come home, and she'd been having some rough ones lately but this... this was deeper than a few he'd seen in the years before she'd left.

Which was why he had not.

Normally she shifted positions every ten minutes like some kind of disgruntled octopus, except she was always so contentedly adjusting herself against him that Jay couldn't ever bring himself to care. He actually relied on it to get a decent sleep himself, her erratic movements a reminder that he was safe, he was home. But that was normally. When her sleep reserves were full and her head clear, as much as it could be for someone whose IQ was higher than Einstein's; it was when those reserves were low and her mind heavy with the weight of her thoughts that she slept like the dead, her body claiming the rest it was due. And when in the last five years had she actually had time to get any?

Not after Lydia had died. Not when she'd been in school, when she'd been going from op to op forging global alliances and saving who knew how many people along the way. Sure she'd made time for herself but never anything more than a few weeks and how much could those little getaways have really recharged her? Even her retirement hadn't been relaxing- most people went on vacation or took up golf, but not her. No, she was forced to navigate her return to civilian life, as much as someone like her could ever be considered a civilian with a serious physical injury while at the same time dealing with his return which included having to create a half a dozen new relationships with his team, on top of dealing with her team's response to his involvement back in her life.

How much could one person be expected to do?

How much could they be expected to give?

Cause that was how Tess saw it. Yes things had and would continue to happen to her that were outside her control but she always focused on what came after, how she could grow from it, what she could do to help others who might be dealing with something similar. That was the other core tenet of her personality. Selflessness, even at her own expense.

Especially then.

His mind was so full of her he noticed as soon as she started shifting on top of him, first away and then back in, with a neediness that tugged at his heartstrings. "You okay?"

"Getting there." She whispered, pushing closer when his lips brushed against her temple.

She'd been saying that for a while now, and he meant it when he said he didn't want to rush her, but at what point was he supposed to get involved?

"You know we got some time before everyone gets here if you want to get a bit more sleep." Jay offered, knowing even as he tucked her hair behind her ear what her answer would be. "Or we could break in the new bed?"

To his great pride Tess seemed to debate that a moment longer but in the end she still shook her head. "While that is very tempting, I have something else I want to show you. Or, someone I want to introduce you to."

"Well that sounds like I need pants."

"Actually, that's not really necessary."

That... was kind of ominous.

His confusion only grew when she sat up and though he refused to release his hold on her he adjusted his grip, momentarily distracted as she wrapped the top sheet around herself; not out of any shyness, he also took great pride in how quickly he'd helped her get past that but because she wanted them to stay focused. Her too, he caught her gaze darkening as it roved over his chest but then it went from lust to love to fear and in an instant he was up beside her, gently taking the fingers that were seeking his. She steadied quickly, still looking at him with a bit of nervousness but with a lot more wryness, the same look she'd had last night. The look she got when she'd done something that flirted with the boundaries of believable.