The Soldier and The Spy: Jay Halstead- Episode 6

Chapter 9

Six Years Ago

He took her to Lou's.

They had a few places they cycled through, both considered eating a hobby but Lou's was one of their favourites and even though it was technically a breakfast place and he'd promised her lunch he didn't think she'd care. Plus it was early enough he could pass it off as brunch. But the real reason he'd brought her here was that it was the first place they'd ever gone to together, all those years ago when he'd just been a sad, angry boy grieving the loss of his mother and she'd been the sweet girl who'd saved him, and he knew they weren't those people anymore but they were still inside them.

And he was hoping being here would remind her of that.

"Hey there darlings- haven't seen you two in a while."

Jay looked up from where he'd been watching Tess out of the corner of his eye and shot a grin at the waitress. "Hey Maggie. You know how it is. How're you doing?"

"Oh I can't complain- no one would listen!" She answered with a loud laugh, her own gaze likewise flicking over Tess as she led them to their table.

"Now you know that's not true- we'd always listen."

"Oh you."

The older woman flapped a hand but blushed just like he'd wanted, his mom had raised him to respect all women and he took that to mean making sure they all felt beautiful but the warmth he got seeing her smile cooled when he saw how small Tess's was when Maggie turned to her.

"Always a charmer this one."

"That he is." She said as they sat, looking smaller than usual in the little booth, her hoodie, his hoodie seeming to swallow her.

Did she realize half her clothes were his?

Did they even count as his anymore if she'd had them this long?

Did she think about this shit as much as he did?

"A waffles kind of day dear?"

Thank God for Maggie.

She'd been a waitress here as long as they'd been coming and even though that wasn't a hard guess, his girl was a creature of habit so her order anywhere only ever alternated between a couple things and here it was waffles or eggs benedict, with red rose tea and water with lemon. Still he could see the familiarity touched her, mostly with sadness but now that her anger had been worked off that was to be expected.

Now they'd work through this, and whatever else she needed to.

"I'll have Mikey put extra whipped cream on it. The usual for you?"

"Yes ma'am- with a side of hollandaise sauce please."

"You got it. Be back in a minute with your coffee and tea."

"Thanks Maggie."

Tess gave another small smile which fell when he returned it but while that hurt Jay knew not to take it personally. She wasn't doing it on purpose, she had a handful of vindictive bones but she always did her best not to give into those urges, and even when she did it was never towards the people she loved.

Never towards anyone who deserved it.

Do you know what that much blood smells like??

He did. Still had moments where the phantom scent of copper made him want to puke but it was different; he'd shot people, stabbed them and blown them up but he'd never cut off someone's head. Jay had no idea what that was like and that kept him quiet, his heart aching at her lost look. She was absentmindedly rearranging her cutlery, and his, and the salt and pepper shakers and napkin dispenser, making her tea when Maggie dropped it off. He wanted to say something, wanted to pull her close and tell her it would all be okay but he didn't think she was there yet.