6:11

0.1

/ S A M A N T H A /

"Why dont you go make some fūcking money instead of doing shītty school work that wont get you anywhere! You are so useless!" my mom yelled, hurting every part and every inch of me with her words.

I didnt go down since I know that her idea of making money is filthy. She always persuades me to become like her.

She kept yelling, exclaiming some curses. I tried my best to ignore her and continue my work - which didn't work - because seconds later she barged into my room, grabbing my wrists as she pushed me up against the wall. I felt my whole body trembling with fear. Tears streaming down my face. " Listen here Sam Sam, " my mom chuckled as she continued, " If you don't do what I say, you know what I'm capable of doing to you right darling?" she smirked, and I swallowed
hard, nodding my head as she loosen her grip around my body. As she left me there, sobbing uncontrollably.

Do this for him, Sammy. Not for her.

And I will, not because I want to, but because I need to.

-

I walked straight through the corridors of the hospital a frown on my face as I did so. I quickly opened the door once I saw the number 325 on it. I was greeted by my brother's nurse as he opened the door for me and left. Leaving Trevor and I alone.

I pressed a kiss on his forehead and took a sit on the chair next to his bed, "you alright Sammy?" I let out a forced chuckled, "Of course I am, why wouldn't I?" I smiled lightly at him. He just shrugged, "You feel sad? Is it because of mum? Sammy I promise you, we can st- "

" No Trev, I've told you before okay? We are not going to stop you chemotherapy. I'll find a job soon. You're gonna be fine okay?" I sighed again as I sat on the edge of his hospital bed.

It hurts to see your brother like this, he's so young to be suffering. He's too young to be dying. He doesn't deserve any of this, the pain and all the hurting. He deserves a normal life. He's ten, he's suppose to be at school, playing at the park and not laying around here everyday. If only I could take away his pain. I'd do it all for him.

Time passed and I haven't notice that I fell asleep when a hand tapped my shoulder, I turned around, rubbing my eyes and saw Trev's nurse, Dan. He smiled sympathetically, he knew my situation and yet he never judges me. He was always willing to help out. "How's everything going?" he asked me, I just shrugged and kept walking along the corridor. I heard him sigh. I felt bad though. All he wanted to do is help, but why can't people just let me be. I can't be helped.

I can't believe that I'm in this hellhole. Can't my life be okay okay sometimes?

I sighed once again as I shoved my hands in my pocket, keeping them warm from the cold breeze outside.

Whenever I feel upset or just want to have a break from life, I usually go to this abandoned train station to keep me away from my thoughts. It was peaceful there, calming. I found it when I was eight, no one ever comes to it, except me. It's been my little hide out since then.

I made my way through the woods and once I finally reached the place, a smile appeared on my face. It was abandoned yet it still looks amazing since it last worked - which I didn't know when - I sat on the edge of the railway pulled out my phone and tapped along it, music blasting through my earphones as I laid down my back, enjoying no one's company.

Some of you might find it creepy and weird. You're alone in an abandoned train station with who knows what happened here, but I find myself happy about it, but my thoughts keep running. Why am I alone in this fight, what does it feel like to have a family. A normal life. What does it feel like to call someone a friend, to share your pointless stories with.

The things that ran through my mind made me tear up and break down. So I played Yesterday by the Beatles, I love that song, simply because my dad used to sing that every night to me and it calms me down.

Yes I find comfort in that song, but every time I hear it the memory of my dad leaving us follows.

I can still remember it clearly

*flashback*

"You're fūcking worthless Louisa! You're good for nothing. You're just wasting my time and my money so why would I want to fucking stay with you?!"

My dad screamed at the top of his lungs. It was about 2:30 in the morning and I was at my room crying. I didn't know what to do. I stood up and tried to be strong cause my dad told me that I had to be strong even at the darkest time of my life. I tiptoed and went downstairs. I saw my mom sobbing and pleading and she's trying to convince my dad not to leave us, all I can hear was "please don't leave us" "i need you. We need you." "Please." But my mom's pleading didn't work. All my dad's bags were packed he was ready to leave us. He was ready to leave us behind and move on with his life. He went outside and my mom followed him, I went outside as well.

My dad got to his car and my mom was still trying to convince my father not to leave us, tapping through the car's window she was basically doing everything that she could even though my dad already said that there's nothing that will change his mind. He started the car's engine and drove
away.

My mom was sobbing while she was on her knees. After a few minutes she finally got up. She finally noticed that I was there and she just realize that I saw everything. She came towards me, I thought she would pull me in for a hug, but no. She slapped me and told me to go back to my room. I went back to my room and cried like I have never cried before.

I stopped crying after a few minutes and I went downstairs and checked on my mom who was drinking tequila.

"Mom, you're not supposed to drink alcohol. You're pregnant mo-"

"I don't give a fuck. Didn't I tell you to go to your fucking room?!"

"But mom that's bad for your health and also for the baby."

"SHUT THE FŪCK UP!"

I decided to get the bottle of tequila and I smashed it. She wasn't happy with what I did so she decided to grab me by the hair and dragged me to the storage room.

"Mom please let go of me!"

"I told you to shut the fūck up!"

She left me in the storage room and locked me there. I was pounding on the door pleading her to get me out of that horrible room. I was starting to get claustrophobic and I started to cry and panic I did not know what to do. The room was pitch black and I was alone. I did not know what to do. I was trying to calm myself down by inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth, it helped a little but I was still panicking. So Instead I sang Yesterday by The Beatles, that song calms me down and helps me get through hard times because it was basically the song that my dad would sing to me every single night before I go to sleep.

"Yesterday all my trouble seemed so far away...."

*end of flashback*

--

new fanfic yay

there will be a picture every chap thats related to the story :))

please share and vote for this

we love you all xx