Yours - Larry

6

I wake up screaming, drenched in sweat as Harry's voice brings me back.

"Louis," he says, hands tugging me back into his arms as I get my breathing under control again. "You're not sleeping anymore, lovely."

"I... right."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry."

"Love," he says, tracing my neck as I press my forehead against his chest. "Are you having nightmares frequently?"

"Define frequently."

"Louis..."

"I haven't counted," I say, moving enough to meet his eyes. "It's my second since I arrived."

"Do you wanna tell me?"

I'm uncertain because I'm going to cross a crucial boundary by sharing my secrets. I trust Harry, possibly more than I ever trusted Levi, but I'm worried his opinion on my part in it is going to echo my dad's.

"I see my sister."

"In your nightmares?"

I nod in response. "I can never get near enough to reach. They come in several scenarios, but every time she says... you were supposed to protect me. Or some variation I can't get out of my head."

He puts a hand on my cheek. "It's your messy part, isn't it? Something happened."

"Someone took her."

"Took her?"

I'm quiet a moment. "When we were... when I was seventeen and my sister was ten, we were on our way to school. Fizzy was sick, so it was only me and Lottie. And I looked away. I looked away so I could concentrate on my mates, which wasn't unusual. I'm not sure how it happened. Or how I managed not to notice, but she was just... gone. Everyone says she's probably dead by now, that kids never last very long in captivity, but..."

Harry tears up. "I'm sorry."

"It's on me," I say. "I've stayed away because my dad knows it's on me."

"Did he say so?"

"Not exactly, but..."

"Love," he says, thumbing away my tears. "Your sister being kidnapped is not on you. It's on no one except whoever got away with it."

"I just..."

"I'm sorry it happened," he says. "But it's just not on you. You weren't supposed to worry. You were supposed to turn around and not expect your sister to get kidnapped."

"Had I only..."

"Baby..."

I remain quiet. I'm aware it's not something Harry can simply understand. I wasn't expecting a response I haven't previously heard, but somehow it means more when it comes from Harry. Perhaps because his voice is easing my mind. Or because I value his opinion in a way I never valued Levi's.

"Do you mind making me pancakes?"

"Louis—"

"I'm hungry," I interrupt. "I wanna eat."

"Okay."

I shower as he makes me pancakes, crying out my emotions one by one so I've recovered once I step up behind him to snatch a piece from a pancake. He swats my hand away, grinning as I pout and move around to sit by his island.

"Are you gonna paint me today?"

"Are you up to it? Because we can relax instead."

I sigh in response. "Are you gonna..."