Sinful Duty

Chapter 36

What do i do?

I feel like i'm fighting against my better judgement, having an inner conflict with myself over what i should be doing versus what should be done.

The feeling of betrayal doesn't sit lightly on my shoulders. But am i just supposed to leave them for dead despite knowing what could possibly be happening to them?

I can't believe i'm even sitting here overthinking this, who do i call without a phone?

Maybe i should go

But where? Where am i going? I don't have a single clue as to where they may be. For all i know Kane could've taken them out of the city, what if i'm too late?

I can't reach them fast enough in my car, especially with that broken window and the snow. I still have to change my tyres, speeding on any outer-city road would not end well. How can i reach them if i'm dead?

I rest my head in my hands, think, think, think.

The sound of a speeding Bike engine sounds off somewhere in the distance, its odd because i've never heard traffic around here. I sit up and stare down at the mess across his desk, he would hate to see the mess...

Which is why i'm going to leave it here.

I walk around the desk and head for the door when something catches my eye on the bookshelf, a misplaced album. I slide it out and flip the page open.

A lump forms in my throat, its a family picture. Its definitely an old one, Eli's mother is here. She's beautiful, long brown hair and a bright smile, she's standing with all her kids and Mr. Crowne. Eli and Ethan are hugging her from each side and Kane.. he's beaming from behind her, towering over all his siblings and hugging them all from behind.

Her bright blue eyes stand out in the sun, they're standing in what looks like a backyard. Eli has her eyes, Ethan's got his fathers grey-ish eyes, the youngest two.. Koran and Klarin i think? They have similar blue eyes but not as vibrant as Eli's.

They all look so happy, its scary to think what tragedies followed. Kane wasn't always this way? What changed?

I snap the album shut and put it back in its slot before switching the lights off and shutting the door behind me. I linger by Eli's bedroom, i don't know why this feels like i may never see him again.

I chuckle to myself "this is stupid" i walk back downstairs and stop at the side table by the front door, i slide open one of the drawers and stare down at the keys.

Don't do this, Ly.

"I have to, i won't be able to live with myself if anything happened and i could've helped." I tell myself, i suck in a deep breath to calm my pacing heart. I grab the key and shut the drawer, i switch the remaining lights off and hit the button to the garage door open before shutting the door behind me.

I breathe out "you got this, you've done this before." I hype myself up, shaking the anxiousness clawing its way up my throat.

The door slides up and to my relief but also dismay, the bike is there.

I slide the cover off and stare at the matte black finish on the sides, running my fingers over the cold, smooth surface. I look around for a helmet, i spot one sitting on a wall stand amongst many others. I take it down and put it on, the familiar feeling and smell of the last time i wore one of these.

Except this still has a faint smell of Eli, its light but its there. I put one leg over the bike and sit down, with a shaky hand i put the key in the ignition.