Anuj giggled.
"Kya... Kyaaa...?? Kya soch ke has rahe hain...", she asked.
"Nai kuch naiii...", he repeated and continued suppressing his chuckle.
"KYAAAA... Bataiye na...", she insisted.
"Okay... Okay...", he succumbed to her insistence and continued, "Main ye soch raha tha ki agli holi me to hum ek saath honge... tab tak... tumhari god me bhi ek chhota sa baby hoga na...", he sniggered.
"Kya... kya... kyaaaa...??", she gawked at him wondering if he actually expects it from her at this age.
He waited a minute to store her reaction in his heart forever.
"Arey kinjal ka baby!!! Tum daadi banogi to usko khilaaogi na god me ki nahi!!", he reminded her.
She waited and sighed in relief for a second but could say nothing.
"Tum kya soch rahi thi...??", he said quite playfully as if aware but willing to let her spill the beans of her own thoughts.
"Nahiii... nahii kuch nahii...!", she told and looked away.
She blushed.
She blushed at the thought of them getting physically intimate and that was huge for her. She never thought a woman like her, whose ex-husband never actually adored her in this way for years of marriage, could be loved by anyone. The thought was overwhelming. She blushed intensely and he knew for sure the reason behind her reddening cheeks before she finally decided to change the topic.
~
Anupamaa's kids smeared vibrant colours on her face but it could still not make this holi vibrant for her. Nothing seemed convivial. She felt weltschmerz surrounding her and with every minute that elapsed her hope to see Anuj there on the festival dwindled. She, nevertheless, smiled. That's what she had done for years and she did now. She never knew when did she master this art of being an eccedentesiast. But today she knew, she aced it well. Her eyes hadn't left the entrance of the Holi pandaal even for a moment but in that one moment she let her mind waiver as she finally left behind the hope of him making an entry from there spreading his arms wide ALL FOR HER.
There he entered. She realized it a minute later and in that minute, he guessed he had seen enough. He had seen everything. He saw more than what he had seen in 11 months of their marriage. He had seen her beyond 26 years of his love in that one minute that she didn't spend staring the entrance but in smiling with her kids.
Her happiness knew no bounds seeing Anuj but amidst her happiness she still missed the name-alike daughter. She rushed to finally pull him out of his trauma not knowing that he had readied himself in that minute to push her into the deepest girths of it. He wasn't there to see a happy Anupamaa.
How could she be happy without my chhoti. Is she heartless? Did she ever own a heart!? She was jealous of my daughter! She threw her out of my life because she couldn't see me loving her more than herself! She is selfish. I could't see through it for years and months but I saw it now in a minute! She showed me who she is... A mother to her bio kids! She is happy for holi!!! SERIOUSLY!! THIS WOMAN!! I LOVED HER FOR YEARS!! She thinks she lost nothing but she is so wrong. She lost me.
Anupamaa put tilak on his forehead and bent to smear some on his feet as if seeking his blessings or putting him on a god-alike pedestal. She was happy to repeat the same mistake twice. She loved him so much. She trusted him more than god.
"Aap mujhe rang nahi lagaayenge...?", she asked offering him colours from her own palms and....
The next few minutes he made her feel what she should've felt herself.
YOU ARE READING
EMOTIONALLY HACKED
Fanfiction"I failed terribly. I messed up everything. He was right. Our chhoti... His chhoti got punished for being like me...I can't be a good mother. I never was. I'll never be. I will always be a failure. I failed with a bad husband and with a good one. Th...
