My star

♦︎Triggerwarning♦︎
Death, Suicide

I saw the letter and before I even knew what it was about, I knew it couldn't mean anything good.

I slowly dropped the keys onto the dark wooden sideboard, which made a soft clacking sound. Apart from the creaking floorboards under my feet, it was the only sound that could be heard for a moment in the dark flat, which was only lit up by the milky moonlight shining into the large room.
The letter lay on the sofa and as soon as I stepped closer, I could make out his handwriting. My name had been written on the folded sheet in his slightly curved, but somehow also rather hard-looking handwriting. Because the moonlight fell on it and the letters were dark, I could read the letter easily without the light.

Darling,
it was time. Please forgive me.
I will always love you, remember that. And promise not to forget me.
I'll look after you, I promise.
I love you. I will always do.
Your star

Your star. Those were the only words that were in my head right now. Star - that had been my lovely nickname for him. Slowly I let the sheet of paper fall from my hand onto the dark blue material of the couch.
I had called him my star because of that sparkle in his eyes when he was happy. In the last few months, that twinkle had become duller and duller and finally disappeared. I always stood behind him and supported him. And now he was gone, my star.

I looked around our flat. My gaze glided over the furniture and finally stopped at the moon, which I could look at through the window.
Slowly I started to move, turned around and went back to the door. The letter was still lying on the couch.
I took my keys and closed the flat door behind me. Not a single tear had left my eyes.

I got into our - no, my car. Started the motor and drove away. I drove through the city, the twinkling lights of the street lamps and houses. The neon signs and headlights of the cars. Everything reminded me of him - my star.
I drove out of the city and finally ended up on a country road. Large fir trees stood out to the left and right, and in front of me was pure nothingness. I could see the many stars and the moon.
Finally. Finally, the first tears flowed down my cheeks. They felt hot and after a while they soaked through my shirt.
I imagined his face.
A soft smile when he had put the letter on the sofa.
A soft smile when he left the flat.
And a soft smile when he left this world.
Because it was better for him.

I drove further and further down the road. Towards the horizon and the stars. My star.

I will always love you too, my star.