"Fvck you! What the fvck did I do to you? I have been good all throughout my life and this is what it get for being a responsible mother and wife? Screw you and your personas! I don't need you. I have worked my ass off for fourteen fvcking years. I dedicated every single drop of perspiration I get to my family -- my kids. Am I not a good mother and wife that I have to go through this ALONE?"
And there was silence. Mrs. Cruz thought for a moment and wept, draining her sorrow out with her tears.
"I have every right to be mad at you! I thought you were a good God and an even merciful one. I have learned and recited all your prayers be it Latin, English or Filipino. I exhibited my devotion to you by hearing mass every single fvcking Sunday of my fvcking life yet I have to go through this ALONE?"
And again there was silence. Mrs. Cruz thought for more reasons to blame God for her misfortunes. Hate and confusion engulfed her mind at that time and her aethistic views were finally coming out after years of being a devout Catholic.
"You're not real. There is no God. If there were a God, He would not let this happen to me knowing that I have been good to my neighbors all my life. But no. I have to go through this ALONE."
Like that line in Aravind Adiga's "The White Tiger" she would say . . .
"What a fvcking joke? I have done countless good deeds to my family, my friends and even hobos whose names i never knew so my soul would be granted salvation in heaven. I'm still alive but ironically, my life is already hell."
