Guarded Hearts

part one

Taehyung sat in front of his vanity, dressed in his bathrobe, hair still damp, dabbing moisturizer on his face like he did every night. His father's assistant's assistant informed him of the schedule for the next morning; a minute by minute program of the day he was going off to college.

Once he got to the press conference, Taehyung sighed and stopped him.

"Can we just - can we pretend I'm just a normal kid going to college?" He pleaded. "Just for a moment, pretend I'm just - normal. I'm going to wake up, and have breakfast with my parents, get dressed, pack my car, and after a tearful goodbye, I'll be gone. No cameras, no reporters, no staff, no timetable. Just normal."

Haneul gave him a small smile, and Taehyung could see the pity in his eyes. "But you're not normal," he responded, tone light, like it was a good thing; something to be proud of.

Taehyung felt part of himself deflate. "I guess not," he murmured.

He listened to Haneul reel off the rest of the schedule in silence, and did his best to thank him politely when he left.

Hours later, he was staring at his ceiling instead of sleeping. He couldn't help but wonder where the excitement he was supposed to feel before going off to college, becoming independent, was hiding. He didn't even feel anxious, just a blank kind of resignation.

He rolled over, closed his eyes, and dreamed about what it might be like to be everything he'd wanted to pretend he was earlier - just normal.

*

Morning announced itself with a knock on his door from his mother, bringing him a tray of breakfast in bed. It was a nice surprise; unscheduled, a private show of affection, and his smiles were genuine - right up until her Chief of Staff interrupted them to drag her away for a quick meeting while she was getting ready, and Haneul arrived to make sure he kept to the clock.

Taehyung was dressed in one of his many plain suits, befitting the son of a politician; formal, conforming, not meant to be a statement. Boring, in his honest opinion, but what his family's stylists keep giving him because he's not meant to be too eye-catching. He's part of the First Family. One piece of a model family, an ideal to look up to. He's always known it, and he doesn't mind, not really. He likes suits, and he thinks classic is always in style. But he's not ignorant to the way the media make him out to be this unfashionable, dorky child, dressed like an office worker with no individuality.

Sometimes he perused fashion blogs, but once he'd been caught looking at one and been told in no uncertain terms that it wasn't appropriate for a member of the first family to dress in such conspicuous clothing. He made sure not to let anyone catch him looking again after that.

He gave his mother a smile as real as he could when she fluffed his hair, and asked if he was feeling okay. Of course he was, he didn't have much of a choice not to be - but he didn't say that out loud, he just told her it was nerves. He followed her and his father out to the press conference. A totally normal way for one to start the journey to college: announcing it to the world media.

Taehyung rarely spoke to the media in any official capacity - only when the agenda required a family focus during a holiday, or a very specific discussion around young people's issues. So he was nervous to step up when the two questions he'd been briefed on were directed at him, as easy as they were.

Yes, he was looking forward to college, just like any other regular kid in the country.

Of course he'd miss his home, and his family - but maybe not the press conferences. A small comment for the laughter, and then he was done, and they were escorted to the waiting convoy to drive them to the airport.