Incorrect Welcome Home Quotes

Incorrect Quotes Part 1

Barnaby: *Picks up hammer and breaks ringing cell phone.*

*Poppy is ordering a cake over the phone*
Shop Employee: ...and what would you like your cake to say?
Poppy, covering the phone to look at The Squad: Do we want a talking cake?

Wally: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

Sally: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.

Cop: You ran a red light.
Barnaby: So did you, hypocrite.
Cop: I was following you.
Barnaby: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver.
Cop: Get out.

Wally: My aesthetic is "would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens."

Sally: Firstly, how dare you use mathematics to make me look stupid!
Sally: I'm actually very good at mathematics.
Sally: Thirdly, I think you might be right.

Frank: Say no to drugs.
Frank: Say yes to drugs.
Frank: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs, cause if you're talking to drugs... then you're on drugs.

Poppy, explaining why they are not allowed to cook: I put the noodles in the pot and put the pot on the stove and turned the burner on high. Turns out you don't put noodles in marijuana and I almost burnt the whole house down.

Sally: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

Howdy: I will send my army to attack!
Howdy: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

Julie: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.
Julie: *slow-mo walks out of the room*

Eddie: Two bros!
Eddie: Chillin' in a hot tub!
Eddie: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!

Eddie, holding up their class notes: And then this doodle of a burrito because when I first read Aristotle, I thought it was pronounced like "Chipotle".
Eddie, in shock: Wait a minute, is it "Chip-o-tottle"?

Frank: I'm not superstitious... But I am a little stitious.

Wally: You call it "really bad at darts", I call it "freestyle acupuncture."
Bartender: ...I'm going to have to ask you to leave the bar.

Barnaby: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight?
Howdy: Why?
Barnaby: Wally fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours.
Frank: Eddie doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Howdy: What is love?
Poppy: An emotional minefield.
Frank: A neurochemical reaction.
Julie: Baby don't hurt me.

/Part 2 is Coming/Sorry for the lack of Puppet Mr. Rogers/