Incorrect Welcome Home Quotes

Incorrect Quotes 2: The Electric Boogaloo

Eddie: Who wants to go out of the country on a road trip?
Howdy: Yea, I could drink legally!
Julie: I could hang out with the boys!
Wally: I could hide from the consequences of my actions.

Poppy: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.
Barnaby: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.
Julie: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.
Wally: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword*
Frank: Rude.
Julie: That's fair.
Sally: Not again.
Wally: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

Sally: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?
Howdy: Sally, it's four o'clock in the morning.
Sally: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

Frank: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this.
Julie: I literally said "I have an idea," and you just went along with it without question.

Julie: *is visibly upset*
Frank: Julie, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

Wally: Barnaby , please calm down.
Barnaby : I asked for two large fries!
Barnaby : *dumps fries onto table*
Barnaby : But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

Julie: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
Wally: They do.
Howdy: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

Sally: FUCK THE CHAIR. PARDON ME FOR MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE DURING A SINCERE HEART TO HEART DISCUSSION WITH A DEAR FRIEND IN NEED!
Sally: BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO CEASE STRADDLING THIS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE PIECE OF FURNITURE! AWAY WITH YE, FOUR LEGGED TEMPTRESS! DISTRACT US NO MORE WITH THE MOST BASIC AND UTILITARIAN FORM OF COMFORT YOU SUPPLY!
Frank: Sally just threw a tantrum about a chair.
Frank: I just won Sally Tantrum Bingo.

Barnaby: Why aren't you sleeping?
Wally: I'm too busy plotting your murder to sleep, Howdy.
Barnaby:
Wally: ...The nightmares.
Barnaby: *wrapping their arms around Wally* Awwww, sweetie-

Howdy: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?
Frank: Bees?
Howdy: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!
Frank: Wait-
*Julie approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

Julie: If I die, my funeral will be the biggest party ever and you're all invited.
Wally: "If"
Barnaby: Great, the only party I'm ever invited to and they might not even die.

Wally: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.
Wally: Violently practices.
Frank: Violently studies.
Eddie: Violently sleeps.
Barnaby: Violently shoots pictures.
Howdy: Violently boxes.
Sally: Violently murders people.
Julie: Violently worries about the previous statement.

Sally: Where the devil is Wally?
Barnaby: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe they melted?
Frank: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?

Julie: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants more advanced than us.
Frank: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this:
Frank: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."

Julie: Guys, my friend here is bilingual.
Wally: Yes.
Julie: Which means they like both boys and girls.
Wally: Ye- wait, what-
Frank: Julie, that's not what bilingual means-
Julie: Shhh, it's okay Wally. I still love you, man.
Wally & Frank: ...
Julie: bUT NOT LIKE THAT-

Wally: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?
Frank: Why? It was important.
Wally: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".
Julie, shrugging: The people need to know.

Wally: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.
Howdy: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Julie: Would never stab anyone.
Howdy: Would stab someone in retaliation.
Sally: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.
Wally: Would stab without warning.
Eddie: Would stab as a warning.

Julie: How is spring not everyone's favorite season? The trees are PINK, guys!
Frank: Allergies are also a problem, y'know.
Julie: But pink.
Poppy: And it's hot.
Julie: PINK!

Wally: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon.
Wally: It's me.

Barnaby: Have you heard of Murphy's law? The one where if something can go wrong, it will go wrong?
Wally: Yeah, I have.
Barnaby: Have you heard of Cole's law?
Wally: Is this a joke about coleslaw?
Barnaby: ...maybe.

Wally: Ugh, there's always that weak bitch in the group who isn't down with murder.
Wally: *glares at Howdy*
Howdy: Well, sorry I have morals!

Frank: Julie, no.
Julie: Julie, yes.

(My voice head canon for Howdy Pillar is Kevin McCann as the Magic Locust from Puss in Boots 2. Now imagine that with these Incorrect Quotes... Congratulations! YOU CANT UNHEAR IT!)