Falling, Fallen

fear

When I don't feel safe, i'll rarely show it.

"Are you okay, Abby?" You ask and suddenly I don't feel okay.

I'm afraid of that room. I am afraid of him. Though, never have I been afraid of you or anything that comes with you.

But I am still afraid of it happening again.
I start to panic when I feel hands on me. Not your hands, no. His hands. The hands I tried washing away countless times after it happened.
I let out a shaky breath and shake my head.

I don't think i'm okay. But i want to be.

As you wrap your arms around me, you apologize. I haven't felt a sincere apology in a long time. I press my face into your neck and let out uncontrollable sobs trying to keep calm.

I now know what room i'm in. I recognize it.
And i know you, I know you are not him.