BOOMERANG {English/in progress)

prologue

I always wondered how people would see me after my death would it be as a gold digger, a home wrecker or just a woman who got wrapped up in a complicated relationship as a teenager because she was afraid of loneliness or at least I would be so insignificant that only my name would be Luce-Karen Patterson.

All this I would not know today. I am still alive and well. But that's just a fantasy, for now I'm an independent, responsible woman who thinks about enjoying her life to the fullest. But to be honest, it wasn't always like this, I had a childhood wrapped up in my mother's skirts, I liked it, but when I reached adolescence I had the impression that she was suffocating me.

She really smothered me, I was never invited to parties, boys would have to come over to the house to see me and so many other things that's why when this married man with a family started to take an interest in me when I was a freshman in college I felt like I stayed at the very first stage and years later I pretty much stayed the same.

I was always the other woman, it's not now that I had to complain. The advantage of being a mistress is that you rarely have to answer to anyone and the disadvantage is the feeling of being alone on the slightest occasion, celebrating Valentine's Day on February 13, helping him to choose the gift or at least on February 15, I never celebrate February 14, the 14th is for the woman.  I don't mean the end of year celebrations or even the desire to show off with your man to say "This one is taken, go and get another one".

Being the other woman, watching my lover's children grow up from a distance and greeting his wife and even helping her on every anniversary to find a gift for your lover who is also her husband while listening to his long monologues about how the evening of Valentine's Day, the anniversary of your marriage, the crazy night, the arguments I have to remain impartial and gobble to avoid giving an answer. In truth it was a pleasure to listen to her in order to daydream but also a torment to hear her because deep down she was living the life I always wanted.

"There was the desire to be someone's wife but also the desire to feel like a woman" I thought as I faked an orgasm.

I try to be as honest as possible but these days it was impossible to have a leg up moment unless he used stimulants, viagra. It was either I was faking it or he was still giving me backstrokes that really hurt

_ I could spend all night making love to you, you make me so horny Karen said as he got up from the bed

_ But you can't, unfortunately," I replied, getting up from the bed.

I lived on the tenth floor of an apartment complex in the middle of downtown. Over the years, the noise of the subway, of the motorists had become less annoying and they were like antidepressants I had gotten used to.

I looked at my lover, Mauricio McLean, he was fifty seven years old now. He had kept his charm from our ten years, he had been practically my first lover and today I still hope he is my husband.

_ You seem tense today, are you okay? Are you not satisfied? If you want, I can go get some Viagra, Mauricio suggested, serving me some red wine.

_ I lied to reassure him

It had been a while since I had felt anything after making love, between pleasure and enjoyment I simulated my orgasms.

_ So you're taking your wife and two daughters on a cruise? I said, playing with my cup of red wine.

_ I have to, it's the best I can do to compensate for my incessant absences at home. But don't forget I also have a project for you. I promise you, my pretty

_ where, when, how,  fuck...You have a plan. You have a plan," I said, raising my voice as I left the bed. Mauricio, how long will I be your lover? How long will I be your lover? How much longer? Another ten years?

_ Karen you're not my mistress my darling .... you know it's hard

_ to leave your wife, your family to make one with me or the fear of losing everything. Why else would I have waited all these years? I said, interrupting him.

_ It's hard enough as it is, don't add to it, Karen, with the girls and my wife getting on my nerves, don't add to it and don't tell me that you have regrets today, we've been together since your first year of college and our age hasn't decided our love, I love you and it's mutual and

_ and you were married and you said you were going to divorce me and now you're telling me the same crap I'm supposed to be married for the rest of my life I want to be married too

_ I don't give a damn about your desires Karen... It's not if you lived in absolute misery and for the last one you don't talk to me like that it's thanks to me that you have a job, a luxury apartment and the money of a queen

_ I was only seventeen at the time, you were forty-seven today

_ Today nothing Karen, you want more money when I come back you'll have everything you want, you want to spend a week together, a weekend maybe? You'll get it, but shut up, I'm having a good time with you, don't add to it

_ I don't want anything right now, you'll take your vacation with your little family, you understand, and a week together you'll tell your wife a meeting out of the country, Maurice exclaimed Karen.

_ Do you really think a woman like you can be a mother and have a family? What will you tell your children when they talk to you about their marital problems, that they should date a married man? You are the daughter of a married man you don't know anything about having a family.

During the whole discussion, I tried to hold back my tears but this time I let them fall down her face before wiping them away with one quick movement

_ Go away

_ I got carried away, I didn't want to hurt you. You know I love you," Mauricio tried to apologize.

_ I just told you to go away I want to be alone I conclude by sending him his clothes

   "Don't stop reading Mon Loulou"