You Can't Spell "Time" Without "Tim"

The conversation with the doctors replayed in Lucy's head a million times while she quietly sat in the fluorescent lights of the hospital room beside the bed.

Only machines are keeping your husband alive. I'm so sorry.

"You don't have to make a decision just yet," Angela said and wiped at a new wave of tears, furthering smudging the mascara mess running down her cheeks.

"I know what he would want. He would never want to live like this," Lucy whispered, gently running her fingers along Tim's hand; she paid special attention to his now bare right ring finger; the ring that belonged on that finger currently hung around the gold chain around her neck- it probably looked weird to see a large tungsten circle dwarfing the simple gold pendant resting between her collarbones, but she thought it would be temporary. She thought he would wake up and get discharged, and then she could return the ring to him...but every plan she had ever made just could never happen now, because the other half of those plans was laying in a hospital bed with only machines forcing his heart to beat and tubes pumping oxygen to fill his lungs.

His brain has sustained too much damage.

He'll never wake up.

"I'll be right here no matter what you decide," Angela promised.

"Thanks, but...do you...do you mind getting the nurse? I've got a lot of forms to fill out."

"Sure," Angela offered as much of a smile as she could muster and left Lucy alone in the hospital room.

She let out a deep breath and tasted the salt of the tears that had reached her lips- there was no point in trying to stop crying, so she ignored her runny nose and wet cheeks to give all of her attention to Tim for what would be the final time.

"Do you remember when I found my engagement ring and totally ruined your big plan to propose to me?" Lucy asked an unconscious Tim- she actually was not even sure if he could hear her, but it helped to verbalize her coherent thoughts. "I could tell you were a little annoyed that I spoiled my own surprise, and I couldn't stop apologizing or saying 'yes I will marry you'. But, in classic Tim fashion, you told me that some things matter more. You said it didn't matter how we got engaged, because the important thing is that we have each other forever."

Lucy shut her eyes to picture the sweet smile on his face when he had said the word "forever". Then, she swallowed and reopened her eyes to the scene in front of her- the person with whom she was meant to have forever with was now, for all intents and purposes, gone.

"What am I supposed to do now, Tim? What am I supposed to do without you?" She asked, and silently wished he would open his eyes and give her the sage advice she always sought from him. But his eyes remained shut; she knew they would never open again.

"Please, don't go. Please, don't make me say goodbye to you. I can't do it, babe. I'm not strong enough," she confessed between sobs.

Tim would have never let her say she's not strong; if he were really THERE, he would have reminded her of every amazing thing she's ever done, and he would not stop listing examples of her resilience and power until she started blushing and begged him to stop. What wouldn't she give to hear Tim's voice right about now? She would trade anything to even just hear him snore once more, because yes, he snores even though he denies it.

"The nurse will be back with a doctor," Angela reported as she reentered the room; she sunk into the seat beside Lucy and held onto the other woman's hand tightly.

"Is everyone still outside?" Lucy asked, her voice hoarse from all the crying.

"Yeah. No one wants to leave. We all want to be here for both of you."