-{Helping Potter}-

(2)

Harry woke up calmly, rubbing the sleep fron his eyes. He assessed his surroundings and sighed, laughing to himself.

He took a few shots of the fire whiskey in his extended pocket and walked downstairs to see the inner and middle circles having breakfast.

"Kidnapping? Really? Did you at least leave a deatheater with polyjuice in my place?" Harry questioned, leaning on the door frame.

Everyone's heads snapped to him. He waved mockingly. They were all too shocked to do anything but stare.

"Where I come from, we greet people with a 'hello' in the mornings." Voldemort said sternly, but his crimson eyes danced with amusement.

"I'm so sorry your royal highness. I'll try to remember my manners when I'm around the king again." Harry deadpanned sarcastically.

"I didn't realize The Chosen One chose being a brat this morning." Voldemort replied cooly.

"I didn't realize the Dark Lord had such a dark sense of humour, kidnapping a child." Harry shot back, examining his perfect nails.

"Sit." Voldemort said, gesturing to a seat directly to his right.

"Gladly, my lord." Harry said the last two words with sarcasm as he sat down.

"Must you do this with everyone you meet, Pottah?" The Malfoy heir said, disdain lacing his delecate voice.

"But of course, Draco. How else would I assert myself over his lap dogs?" Harry said airily, gesturing to the middle circle.

The Malfoy heir sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated.

"How many shots have you had, Harry?" He asked, looking at his friend.

"Four." The Potter heir replied. "How high did I get last night? I don't remember much, but I feel amazing."

"Lucius said that you smoked two of those muggle things." Voldemort replied, taking a bite of toast.

"They're called cigarettes. Basically a bit of dried weed and parchment rolled into a tube." Harry explained."You light one end on fire and stick the other end in your mouth and inhale the smoke. The affect is kind of like being drunk, but you don't consume anything."

He looked puzzled when a house elf brought him a plate of pancakes, but thanked her anyway. This earned him a lot of confused looks.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" He asked, tilting his head to the left.

"Why did you thank the elf?" A middle circle member asked, looking utterly puzzled.

"Why wouldn't I? She gave me something without being asked." Harry replied.

"But it's just a servant. Why would you thank that thing?" He asked, getting more on Harry's nerves.

"Well, just because you are a lowlife who doesn't know what manners are, doesn't mean I am." Harry snapped, standing up and stalking over to the man. "If you were in her position, wouldn't you want to be praised? Wouldn't you want to be thanked for your work?"

The man nodded.

"Excactly. Does Voldemort ever say good job after a perfect raid? Anyone?" He looked at Bellatrix. "Does he say you're his most loyal when you do good?"

They look at eachother and nod. He smirks slightly.

"So why should it be any different?" He sat in his seat again. "You, who dedicate your whole lives to him, get praise for services."

He took a breath and continued.

"But why is it the house elves who dedicate not only their lives, but their entire bloodline, to your service, don't deserve that same treatment?"

There were murmurs and grumbles of agreement.

"Exactly. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk." He said and he turned to Voldemort, pointing at the pancakes. "Am I allowed to eat these?"

The Dark lord nodded and Harry nodded, taking a bite. Narcissa Malfoy marveled at his manners and Draco hid a smirk.

"Mr. Potter, where did you learn such fine manners?" She asked in awe.

He looked at her and swallowed before speaking.

"Draco started teaching me in first year. He told me that I had to learn Pureblood etiquette." Harry said. "He said that if I was a Pureblood, I had to act like it."

"But you aren't. Your mother was a mudblud." Voldemort said.

"Nope." Harry said. "It's rather hard to explain. My grandmother and grandfather on my mother's side, were both squibs from Pureblood lines."

He shrugged off their shocked looks.

"My grandfather and grandmother were put up for adoption in a muggle orphanage at birth when they were checked for magic but had none, as was and is traition."

"The families were Nott and Malfoy. My mother was the only magical person in their line from my grandparents."

"You're also a Pureblood, Voldemort. Your father was a squib at birth from the Ancient and Noble house of Peveral. You are the Lord and I am the heir. My grandfather was your grandfather's brother. They are two of The Three Brothers, from the story. Meaning, you're my distant cousin."

Everyone looked shocked at this. Draco rolled his eyes at the ceiling.

"You are so dramatic." He said, sighing at his cousin. (A/n" Just saying cousin here cause it's easier than saying second cousin once removed.)

"Whatever." Harry gave his cousin the look and they both smirked.

"Twins!" They called out together.

In an instant, the Weasley Twins were next to their respective boyfriend.

"Yes, darling?" The Twins said together.

Harry laughed at the surprised faces and then stood up, hugging George. Fred wrapped his arms around Draco and kissed his head, earning a hum of approval from the blonde.

"Luci, I believe you owe me twenty galleons. I knew he wasn't straight." Narcissa said, looking at her husband.

Harry snorted as Lucius begrudgingly handed over a neat moleskin sack to his wife, who smiled happily at her winings.

"Of course you bet on me." Draco said. "Uncle Sev, don't you have to go collect your hundred galleons from professors Mcgonagall and Dumbldore?"

"Actually, it's two hundred. One for each of them." Snape said, looking slyly at Harry.

Harry looked shocked at his teacher, who just smirked.

"You bet on my sexuality too? What's next? Bellatrix betting on me?!" Harry said in disbelief.

Bellatrix, who was happily recieving fifty galleons from her husband, looked sheepishly at him.

"Are you bloody serious?" He deadpanned.

"Money's money." She said. "And easy money is even better."

"I am surrounded by idiots." He and Voldemort said at the same time.

They looked at each other and blinked.

"You two are definatly related." Draco said, taking a bite of egg.

They both shot him a glare and he raised his arms in mock surrender. They continued eating, occasionally making small talk.

"Wait, you-" George.

"Two are-" Fred.

"Related?" Fred and George.

"Actually, the three of us are related. But very distantly. Draco, Voldy, and I." Harry said, huffing when George took a bit of pancake.