Chasing the Sun

Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

Caroline. 

I felt exposed. Not because i was naked, but because of him getting all frozen, straddling me. He was insisting to see me a few moments ago and now it felt like he was regretting his decision. 

I gulped, trying to swallow the humiliation. I never felt like this before. How could I do this? How could I cloud my own judgment to leave myself vulnerable in front of him? Of course he had his fair share with girls. Blondies, smart, skinny. Beauty princesses, models. And who was I trying to impress? 

I sat up, trying to cover myself with my arms but the more I tried, the more tears slipped down my eyes. I would never forgive Xavier Russel for the insult. He was still looking at me without blinking and frowned to see me sitting up. I wanted to say something, to slap him, to throw him out of my room but something snapped inside him. 

"Carl. Baby. Oh my god. I am so sorry baby. Shhhhh". He pulled me in his lap, caged in his strong arms. "I am sorry baby. I..". He kept frantically kissing my cheeks and that made me cry even more. 

"I hate you. I hate you Xavier Russel. How could you do this to me? What am i? A cheap whore? This was why you wanted to see me to make me feel so worthless. I hate you. Get out". I kept hitting his chest, trying to wiggle out but he held me close. 

"I am sorry baby. It's not you Carl. It's me. You are way above my league Love. I know I shouldn't have reacted like an asshole, but I felt..".

"What? You felt disgusted huh? I am not skinny and definitely not upto your standard girls. But that doesn't give you any right to insult me. I will never forgive you for this Xavier. Get out now". I attempted to get away again but I know I can never break his arms. 

"No. No. No Caroline. No it's not like that baby. Shhh. Look at me". He cupped my face, making me look at him. He wiped my cheeks planting soft kisses on his wake. 

"I felt unworthy of you Caroline Heard. You are so pure. So beautiful like an angel. I am not pure and you know that. You can never be compared to any of the girls from my past. I… I lost Caroline. I saw you and I thought I was so cheap for you. I.. It's not you, baby. I am sorry". He attached our forehead together. I was confused. What the … 

"I don't understand Xavier". I whispered. He sighed. He looked me in my eyes, placing his lips on mine for a while before he pulled off. 

"I don't want to go back into the darkness Caroline. Do you think I can walk with you? I don't want to risk it all. I don't want to lose you Carl". He said in a defeated tone. 

I blinked and then it all sinked in. 

"How would you lose me Xavier? I am here". I cupped his cheeks in my hands. 

He pulled me closer as if there was any space left. He put his hand in my hair, and wrapped my waist with his other arm. 

"I don't know where this night will lead us, but fuck, i cannot stop myself now". He murmured on my lips and then it was a blur of events. 

His kiss was heated, frantic. All needy. He made me straddle him, angling my head so that he could get a better access to my mouth. 

"Touch me Carl". He whispered in a low husky voice. 

"Where".... I didn't know how and what to do. It was overwhelming. 

"Anywhere baby. Just touch me already". He was breathing hard. Nipping and kissing on every skin he could put his lips on. In one fluid move he had me on my back on the couch, hovering me completely.