HOODIES warning: mentions of self harm, eating disorder and anxiety. trigger warning throughout whole chapter.
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to say things had gotten worse would be an understatement. you usually found it easy to break out of the cycle when your depression and anxiety were at all time low, but this time was different and you had indeed hit that all time low that you promised yourself you would never get back into.
maybe it was because you and your mom had moved back to seattle and her job here was much more demanding so you hadn't been seeing her much. she often got back home when you had already crashed out for the night and by the time you woke, she had already left for work, making it much easier to be able to hide your current state.
you couldn't even understand why things had gotten so bad, but you wish you had been strong enough to break it.
groggily, you rose from your bed chucking an oversized hoodie on your small body and headed downstairs.
"morning, sweet girl." your mom spoke softly, scaring you slightly as you hadn't planned on her being home. unconsciously you pulled the sleeves of your hoodie down as you went and sat on the couch.
"mom? why are you here?"
"i have the day off. figured we could spend it together, we've not seen much of each other recently, huh?" you didn't respond, just nodded your head, eyes fixed to the tv which was playing a random breakfast show.
you didn't mean to be so blunt, you missed your mom so much and honestly, all you wanted to do was throw yourself into her arms and get her to help you, but you couldn't.
your mind was too loud.
her being home meant eating, it meant wearing big baggy clothes even though there was a heatwave, which meant questions, it meant worried looks and it meant confrontation.
addision studied her daughter as she lay on the couch behind her. she looked tiny, her eyes slightly sunken. her hands were trembling and she looked completely cut off from the world.
her heart broke. she had been so busy with work she hadn't realised y/n was struggling so much and her daughter was turning into the shell of a person she had before and becoming unrecognisable right in front of her eyes.
-
"cmon babe, you gotta eat something." addison spoke softly as she watched you push the food around the plate.
"not hungry." you grumbled, pushing the plate away from you.
you heard your mom let out a sigh and you locked eyes with her, you couldn't help but feel guilty as you watched a tear fall down her cheek.
"y/n, you can talk to me, always." she reassured and you just shrugged your shoulders. "i love you."
"im going upstairs." without a second glance, you made sure you held the sleeves of your hoodie before zooming past your mom and heading straight back to your depression pit.
