Fame | A Tomdaya Romance

Chapter 15

Then

I can confirm there are a few things that acting school did not teach me.

1. When you're involved in a multi million dollar franchise - there is no limit to the amount of time they will re-shoot a scene until it's perfect

2. Doing your own stunts should come with severe health and safety warnings

3. You will feel like your world begins and ends with the people in the movie bubble

Number three in particular is hitting me hard right now.

We've been filming for a month and I am exhausted, I mean I didn't really expect anything but. But you know, I'm still living the dream. Then living in my dreams. Almost every night for at least the last week I've dreamt of Daya, of us.

She and Jacob have quickly become my best friends, I mean I know my brothers and Haz will still be there for me when I re-enter the real world and leave this crazy bubble. But the three of us are really tight. Rosie's already given up on it to be honest, she's almost always out or in her room on facetime - none of us really mind.

Because of that though, my alone time with Z has been - limited. And yet I am growing all the more obsessed with her the more time we spend in a group. I actually look forward to going to sleep, because I'm guaranteed to live out my desired reality within them.

I think I'm doing well in the actual filming, I've been getting good feedback at least. And it's insanely cool - I'm fucking spiderman. The first time I put the suit on it was an out of this world experience - so insanely cool. I've learnt so much so quickly, and it's confirmed that this big budget movie was the right next step for me. Even if we only get one day off a week. Even if I've been in Atlanta for a month and not once seen anything outside of a road to and from the set.

I've started writing a diary, well more like a journal - whatever you call it. My bi-weekly non negotiable therapy sessions are the reason for that, the therapist said she's worked with actors who have regretted not doing it at the start of their career. But it's hard not to make everything I write about her. Especially because I'm worried that one day she might accidentally find it and then be a bit freaked out.

Take her out of it and I'm mostly writing about each day on set, the new things I had to do - the things I found funny, or frustrating - or both. The little things we do in the house to keep us entertained. I'm half way through todays entry when I realise all I want to write about is todays scene -my first solo scene with her. Nothing close to romantic, that's not on the cards for us until the next movie. Yet, I had to really work on not letting my real feelings for her show in everything I did. Even as a semi-tomboy that she is playing with no makeup on and an oversized t-shirt - she still takes my breath away.

I'm about to skip passed that part when a knock at my door interrupts me. "Come in" I say, assuming it's Jacob wanting to go play another game in the pool - we do it almost every night and so far we're tied for wins. Instead, it's her. I close my book immediately and try and look casual.

"Writing?" she says, clearly surprised, I mustn't look like the journal type. I nod, moving to the end of my bed, "Therapists orders" I reply honestly, "you okay?". She's looking at the door like she wants to close it behind her, it takes her a few seconds of clear indecision before she does. We're alone in my room and suddenly I'm on edge.

"I just" she starts, why does she look so nervous? "I just, I mean this is going to sound so ridiculous right - but I was facetiming with my Mom and my dog and it's made me sad. I'm so used to this, but still seeing my dog and not getting to be with her - and you don't even get to do that, because all your friends, family and even your dog are asleep right now. So I thought I'd check, are you okay?"

I shake my head at her, "So you're sad and then it made you feel sad for me potentially being sad?". The thought of it is so sweet it's not even funny. She laughs, "Well when you put it like that it sounds silly" I notice as she takes in my, actually pretty clean, bedroom. I place my hand down next to me, inviting her to sit, "Not at all, I've been up and down - I miss Tess the most". We spoke about our dogs that day in London, Tessa is the original love of my life.

It takes her a few moments to sit down next to me. She's wearing an oversized t-shirt with shorts and her hair is half up, half down. In the now two months I have known her, I've come to realise that this is her comfort zone, and the woman that you see on the red carpet and the photoshoots is her in slight character form. She is just as beautiful either way.

I slide to lean against the wall and she follows suits, we're now side by side on the bed overlooking the room. It feels intimate and not intense, like I know that this isn't that and yet the slight desire for it to be that still simmers away within me. "You're probably thinking that out of everyone I should be used to this right?" she starts, clearly comfortable now.

"Not necessarily, I know enough about all of this to know that there isn't exactly a normal for this kind of stuff" I reply. "This just feels so big, I know I've worked with Disney before, but like a TV show and a franchise movie are such different ball parks - you know?" her voice is soft, I've come to get used to this tone when she's being more vulnerable.

"You're allowed to find it intense too you know? I think this is the most intense thing, of all of the intense things - this would be a lot for any actor. When I met some of the avengers, they all told me the same thing - that this is another level that none of them were prepared for either" I want to place my hand on her leg as a gesture of I get it but I stop myself.

"How are you doing though?" she says after a few minutes. It's the first time in a few minutes that she's looked me in the eye and I honestly feel my heart rate speed up immediately. I smile, "I'm exhausted, but I'm good. If it weren't for you and Jacob I probably wouldn't be able to say the same".

Her responding smile is genuine, "I know. This would be so much worse if it weren't for you two". I watch as she bites her lip before continuing, "You are so easy to speak to Tom. You are way too nice for someone that has been cast as the biggest leading role" she laughs and I nudge her. "You haven't seen me when I'm hangry yet, I become the biggest diva you've ever met" I joke back.

Her face goes immediately serious again. "I hope it doesn't change you" her voice is so soft and her eyes so gentle. "I'll have you to keep me humble" I reply, it probably is a bit too close to intimate, after all I have been trying to keep things friendly, but it's true, "if you can be like this after all your years in the spotlight, you can show me how to do the same".

"Deal" she replies, a bright smile across her face. I was wondering whether my answer would scare her off, but clearly it hasn't. I decide to continue with the raw honesty, because this is the first time we've been alone like this since everyone moved in and I can't guarantee when or if it would happen again. "Is there no way you could some how negotiate to stay right until the end of the shoot? I don't know whether me and Jacob will make it through the last month without you" I've looked her in the eye as I spoke, but copped out by adding Jacob into it. The truth is, I'm sure Jacob will be fine.

She smiles, "I have another movie that starts filming that last two weeks, but you know - I love hanging out with the producers and directors - I'm sure I could stick around for an extra week without any issues". Her response surprises me, I expected an outright 'I cant'. Does she have any reason outside of that to want to stay longer too?

Only in your dreams Tom.