Golden Love

Pov: London Crying days

The trying days don't end I wake up smoke, get up shower ,go to work, come home to this shitty ass apartment, eat a sandwich shower, smoke again, go to sleep then do it all over again. I just want to die I'm so tired and I honestly wish one day I don't wake up.

Life sucks and everyone knows it. I don't have friends to club with but I do have people I can call and have sex with that should be enough right it doesn't matter I'll still live the way I want to live no matter what. 

I try to hope that today I can just live a happy life but I find that the only time I can be happy is to get high and I mean I love getting high it takes the rain I have in my heart and mind away I wish it could be permeated but I know that no matter how much I smoke the next day in the morning when I wake up the rain will come back. 

Today I wake up grab my blunt put it between my lips and right before I grab my lighter to light the blunt my phone rings I let it go to voicemail and then right after I light my blunt my phone rings aging I contemplate whether I could answer or not but something tells me I should answer.

So I get up off bed walk over to my dresser and grab my phone it's my mom I sigh and put my blunt out in the ashtray I collect myself and put a smile on my face I answer with a Hello mom on the other end I hear a London you need to get home right now your dad has broken everything and I'm moving out either you come now and get your stuff while he's gone or you can wait and deal with it whiles he's here then she ends the call.

Of course, my mom would only call me for this but I knew this was coming my mom has gone through abuse from my father for years it was about time she moved but that inner child in me wishes that she would call me just to check on me but she wouldn't she looks at me with regretful eye since I was a kid she has never wanted me because I was created when my father forgot about consent and raped my mother I really wished she had aborted me like she said she wanted to but as soon as my father apologized she forgave him and now look at what happened.

I take a deep breath finished my daily routine and instead of going back to my apartment after work I go back to my childhood home my mother was right when she said he broke everything the front door is off its hinges and the windows are broken and have police tape all over it I see my mom on the front steps with her suitcase with her phone in her hand I'm thinking she is waiting for her ride to wherever.

I turn off my car engine put a smile on my face and get out of the car. I walk to the stairs and say hello mother she looks at me and says ''I'm about to leave go in you have 15 minutes before he comes home ,be out before he comes home ,if you don't make it out before he comes home don't tell him I called you or that you saw me here okay ''she says  ''Yes I understand''  I say she turns her attention back to the road and a car pulls up she stands up and says d''on't expect a call from me after I leave I won't be coming back also your sister is in your brothers' custody now check up on her ever once in a while goodbye daughter '' and with that, she leaves the steps to make her way to the car gets in and leaves.

I walk up the steps turn on my timer and run to my childhood bedroom get a few items carry them outside go to my car and speed off to my apartment. I don't really care about my mom leaving but I do care about my sister I think it's great that she's out of that toxic home but I really hope she doesn't end up in another one with my brother. I try and smoke but I can't I just decided to call my brother and  my sister so I pick up my phone hit his phone number and call him he answers and I can hear crying In the background Hello London what do you want he says in a rude tone Hello  What do you want the repeats I ask in an even rudder tone I want to talk to meg,

I can hear him sigh okay it sounds like he's moving and the crying in the back seems to get louder until it seems he's coming right in contact with that person whos crying who I know mostly is my sister Megan Here it is London I hear my brother say she wants to talk to you Okay I hear a sad Megan say. Hello I say  LONDON MOMS GONE she says loudly I know Megan but you have to be strong I say  JAMES SAID MOM DIDN'T WANT ME OR YOU I hold back the anger that is starting to boil over at her words why would he tell her that to hurt her what was the point I calm my voice and say that's not at all true moms love all her children equal just today she told me to make sure your okay what mom that doesn't care to do that.

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I hear James my brother walk over snatch the phone out of Megan's hand, say I don't need Megan to hear lies, and ends the call  I'm very tempted to call back but l'm steming with anger and I don't want to aurge today so instead of calling him I go to the dresser and pull out my weed than I put it back deciding I need to sleep not get high so I go take a shower and then go to sleep.