Madness combat x You

(Hank x flirty reader) Them

Requested by Nightmare_DreamsAcc
Summary: mass murderer sexy huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue
Warnings: slight mention of gore

Another day, another massacre. Hank walked out of the building, covered in blood, guts, and maybe one or two bullets lodged in his head. He called H.Q to go pick him up, and waited...

...This gave him time to think a little. Think about the people he killed, new more interesting ways to kill others, his pathetic existence in this infinite universe, that funny cat meme he saw once...

It gave him time to think about his coworkers...

Oh, his coworkers...What fellows they were.
There was Deimos, who he didn't like, Sanford was okay, he had been roommates with 2BDamned for years. He knew all his deepest, darkest secrets at this point.

And then...the last one.

This one was even more interesting than the others. Simply because of the fact that, when other people saw Hank, their first reaction was usually either fear, annoyance, or just nothing really. And yet this person, this one person, thought it would be a good idea to actually try and  flirt with what is basically the world's number 1 criminal.

And you would likely think that the killing machine would immediately brutalize anyone that would dare even think of talking to them like that out of existence.
But he didn't.
In fact, a part of them kind of enjoyed the attention actually.

It's not like he wasn't extremely confused and maybe even a little aggressive when it first started, but...it was the first time someone had treated him like that. They always were a loner, rejected by some of his peers at times, and after the boombox park massacre? Oh boy, almost everyone he met after that were either terrified of him, trying to kill him, or both.
So to be treated with such...kindness? Was that the word? It was quite refreshing, to be honest.

He wasn't really shocked when that flirty coworker was in the back of the car that arrived to pick them up, with Deimos in the driver seat.

"Hey Hank!"

Hank replied with a simple wave when he sat next to them. Their eyes suddenly got wide as they looked at him a little closer.

"Holy shit is that a bullet in your head?"

He prodded the wound a little before nodding and speaking out.

"Probably. Pass me some tissues, I'll deal with it."

Contrary to his demand, they started digging for the emergency med kit they always kept in those cars.

"Nope. You're not going around with a goddamn bullet in your pretty face without anyone fixing you up."

Hank stared at them with possibly one of the most judgemental looks he had ever given someone.

"Pretty? Really?"

Despite the sarcastic tone in his voice, they smiled as they got to work on healing that nasty hole in his head, along with the other gashes and burns on the rest of their arms and upper chest area.

"Yup! Pretty."

"Daaamn, you really got some shitty taste there buddy!"

Oh, there was Deimos, making the two others almost jump when reminding them of his existence.

"Oh shut it Deimos, you like Mania."

"Hey! That is Fall Out Boy's best album and you can't concince me otherwise!"

As they continued their playful banter , Hank couldn't help but stare at the person next to him. Was the flirting getting to him? Did they actually manage to do something to him? Did the bullet mess with his brain or something?
For some reason, he just couldn't stop looking at that smile. Replaying that laugh in his head over and over again. Paying so much attention to the way they were placing their hands around his shoulders to wrap bandages around them, rubbing his hands when dissinfecting the cuts...

Why the fuck was he feeling like this all of a sudden?

He thought. Thought of all the times his heart clenched a little bit when they gave him a compliment. Of the times he'd feel embarrassed when they called him a petname in public.
He never asked any questions about it, but right now...

"Hey Hank, are you okay? You're breathing pretty heavily."

He turned his head up when they spoke up, now looking at him with a worried face as they rubbed his freshly bandaged hands. It didn't take long for him to look away though, avoiding showing his face.

When he did that, their expression got even more concerned for a second before widening their eyes when they seemed to have realised something, which finally led to the formation of a cheeky smug smile on their face.

"Ooooh, did I fluster you?"

"No."

They snickered. God that laugh had something special about it.
"Of course, if you say so."

The car brutally stopped all of a sudden, almost making everyone in it fall over if they weren't wearing seatbelts.
"A'right lovebirds, you can do your romantic shit alone now!"

Hank wipped his head around when Deimos said lovebirds. It was so fast and violent they heard an actual crack. Kinda reminds you of how scary the big guy can be, and the death glare didn't quite help.

"Shut."

"Ow! Okay, I was just joking man, it's all in good fun! Yeesh."

As Deimos left, lighting a cigarette with his thumb, and the two others were getting out of the car, Hank's previously flirty teammate spoke with a twinge of what seemed like guilt in their voice.

"Hey...uh...sorry about that."

He turned to them, stopping in his tracks.

"...Sorry about what?"

"Oh, well, you seemed pretty mad when Deimos talked about...romance I guess. Like calling us lovebirds and all. I thought I should apologize for...flirting with you that way, you know?"

He suddenly got in face to face with them, looming over with a dark look on his covered face.

"No."

"...Huh...?"

"You're good."

"...I am?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

Hank stepped away after they got the hint, and that damned smile that made his insides feel all fuzzy in a way that wasn't from dying and getting ressucitated over and over again came back as they walked along side him to get back to their respective rooms.

"Does that mean you just don't mind or...do you enjoy it?"

"...I don't know what you're talking about."

They laughed.
"You know damn well what I'm talking about Hanky."

His hand came up to cover his face when they said that. He was usually pretty pale, but they swore they saw a hint of red between his mask and his goggles. Although that could very possibly have been a scar or something.

"...Show me a good velma episode and maybe I'll consider telling you."

They laughed even more after that. He didn't quite know how to make a joke without being akward right now, but just the fact that he wanted to try made them understand just how much he prefered them over most people.

"Alright alright then. I'll keep shut."

A/N: this is so bad I'm so sorry.