Scattered Hearts (Completed) ✅️

chapter 19

Extremely chilly winds blew past me as I walked on fog covered streets. Delhi has got worst winters. Well every year feels the same. I thought this winter I will have Naina to warm me up but no,  she had to enjoy her 1st winter with me somewhere else. Her five months project has extended to five more months,  her parents are still clueless whereas kainat managed to Crack her sister down . What about me?

I am standing in 1 degree drinking chai from extremely old chacha who tells me stories about his love interests back in the day when he was fit to maintain multiple woman at a time. Result? He's alone now selling chai. Women eyed me up and down winking at me. I neither have money to afford another woman nor time to bear their tantrums. My phone buzzed making me groan.

" You are avoiding me ! ." She shouted loudly .

" You know me! It's my Pms! You should bear my mood swings." She stated sneezing loudly.

" Your silent treatment won't work on me.i know you are outside drinking chai probably responding to all the women who are hitting on you ." She said.

" I would be dead if so many women hit me at a time. Don't you think?." I asked her sarcastically.

"See! You have changed ! You don't like me anymore! You prefer drinking tea outside your home in this harsh climate rather than sit at home and talk with me." She said.

What's wrong if I decide to have my chai here?

" Sleep." With that said I disconnected our call. Naina furiously typed big messages stating how I changed from being cute mushy boyfriend to sad old man. I chuckled looking at it.  My woman goes crazy once a month and i understand her problem. Never in my life I took care of someone like I do with her. Huge bouquets of flowers, different varieties of fries , blueberry pastry 3times a day and warm hot chocolate can't keep her calm. Thinking hard I decided to do the thing which I saved for emergency purposes. 

"Is she angry?" Chaiwala asked making me chuckle.  I nodded handing him his money, I miss her badly. My only ray of hope and happiness is being with my love.  Kainat messaged informing me that parents are eating her brain away regarding higher studies and marriage.  I did not respond.  I do not wish to spoon feed both sisters how they should choose their life. They can vent out their frustration but I won't decide or give advice.

"Anish?" I answered.

" Yo bro! I got good news for you! " He shouted making me frown. What good news? Is his wife pregnant?

" I am going shift to India permanently! My working location will be Jaipur!." He shouted.  Congratulating him , I disconnected his call. It's time for me to apply for  tourist visa.  Applying everything online,  I proceeded to plan my trip in case if they ask me . Sitting alone in my balcony which has become my best buddy these all months,  I realised before Naina, I never appreciated the beautiful scenery I could see from here. For me life has always been black and gray. With her presence , I dare to see even white and other colourful regions of my life. She taught me its ok to suffer and its really ok to give multiple chances to our fate for better quality of life.

I could only curse my fate, talk ill about how I suffered and learnt to live instead of just living the peaceful life I struggled to achieve. When naina got married I became stone, all I could think was what more fate has got to offer me ? How much more will it ask me to suffer? To think that there are people who are still in my phase cursing the universe for making them suffer,  who knew their love won't come back , there won't be a day they will hold their loved ones again.

After all,

What is love if there isn't a bit of  suffering?

'I am sorry'

Naina messaged me with crying emojis. I smiled looking at it.  Her bold decision leave everyone and experience life is back firing at her. No matter what happens, I can't live without her presence in my life.

'You are forgiven...sleep now."

From being a not so romantic person to hopelessly want to be in love person, my journey has been very much chaotic.  No matter how much I portray myself as strict professor and colleague , I crave for better love life and an understanding person . Death of my parents hit me so hard that I couldn't understand what exactly I lost other than my parents.

"Open the door!." I heard Kainat banging . Getting up from my place,  I walked fast to see what the commotion is about.  She stormed inside holding her pillow. I shut my door off quite angry with her behaviour.

" This won't work out kainat! Stop coming here whenever you fight with them. Learn to stand up!" I shouted to which she turned towards me. With red eyes and swollen nose she looked at me with disappointment.  I knew something big has happened if not she won't be sitting here with red eyes.

" I broke up with him. " She stated. 

"I told if he can't stand for what he wants , if he expects me to adjust to every single shit he does , if he thinks everything will be fine after marriage,  if he feels I will be okay with conditions and terms put forth by his family then he should suck his own dick and leave me alone. Because he is just marrying me for that!." She shouted throwing her pillow.

" Did you two do the deed???." I asked her. To which she held her head down. With anger bursting through me I slapped her pretty hard. She fell down but didn't flinch. Tears poured down her eyes like a waterfall and even she knew that is bad decision on her part.

" I told him and you specifically not to take that step now. No matter how much you love someone. If you two are not settled well in life or have family problems to deal with or still adjusting to eachothers tempo . You need to wait for right time. " I shouted .

" We thought its right time. " She countered back.

" You clearly are not understanding what I want to tell you! You both are so volatile! I can see it! Your sister can see it! Hell even his family who is orthodox wanting him to get married at young age does not consider he's at right age to take responsibility of another human! I told you what his father spoke with me other day! Your love might be true kainat! You are not emotionally stable woman!." I shouted taking out ice for her. She just sat on floor holding her cheek with tears falling down continously.

"You won't tell my sister right?." She asked me while I sat down beside her placing ice over her cheek.

" She won't even ask me . Tell me from the start . I will straight that dude." I said .

" He is going out of India for higher studies . With his flirting skills I don't trust him.  He asked me to apply abroad maybe I can join him next year . " She said looking at me.

" And why aren't you applying?." I asked her.

" He's not giving me any choice other than acting up to his advices. I feel so constricted. His family wants him to get engaged or married if he's leaving abroad. Dakshant says that a sick joke. He got no guts to tell his father about our love life. I mean  what if he is pressurized to marry ? What if he realises that I am not good enough after studying abroad. What if he flirts and likes someone else? There are so many what ifs. I feel like a jealous , possessive girlfriend. " She blabbered nonstop.

" First of all, promise me. You are not going to be physical with him again. Because it fucks up  if you don't land up with that person. Those feelings which you felt won't be same again even if you love someone and get married. In the back of mind, these linger ok? That's what I think.  If my justification is good to you,  you can follow. Secondly , if he leaves you after going abroad,  you should question his feelings on you when he's in India. Nothing should matter if he really likes you Kai. Thirdly,  it will be so nice if you can secure a good college abroad. Go out,  explore, being single is a blessing when you are exploring new things! ." I said wiping her tears.

" I miss having a brother. " She said hugging me.

I smiled holding her. It I knew how things turn out for them I would have asked kai to just end things.  But I know he's not a person who will leave her. Not without tough fight.

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