Tmnt (1987) In Green With Jealousy

Episode

Krang "Shredder! How long must I put up with your blasted incompetence?"
Shredder "Oh, that's it, Krang. Blame this power shortage on me."
Krang "Well, I just did. And put out that candle. It's hot enough in here."
Shredder "As you wish."
Krang’s Android Body "Ah-choo!"
[When the body sneezes, it causes Krang to bounce around inside his compartment.]
Krang "Whoa! Ooh! Stop! Cut it out! Whoa! I'll remember this, Shredder, with every cell of my cortex. If we don't get our power back, this could be the end of us."
Rocksteady "Let's you and me watch TV."
Shredder "You numskulls! Shut that off."
Krang "No. Wait. Turn up the sound."
[On TV, April is giving her news report.]
April O'Neil "And so, our city is playing host to the Navy's largest nuclear-powered submarine. This remarkable craft can stay underwater indefinitely thanks to its vast supply of nuclear energy."
Krang "Ho ho! That's it. Nuclear energy, oodles of it. That's how we'll replenish the Technodrome's power."
Shredder "You mean drain it from the submarine?"
Krang "Precisely. Then nothing can stop us from drilling up to the earth."
Shredder "Nothing except the turtles."
Krang "Ho ho! Never fear. I have a scheme to handle those wretched reptiles."
[On the pier next to the submarine, April is loading up the Channel 6 news van.]
April "Hurry up, Irma, we've got to get back to Channel 6."
Irma "Aw, do we have to, April?"
[Irma is standing near a group of admiring sailors who begin to whistle at her when she walks away.]
Sailors "Whoo! Aw-ooo! Ow ow ow!"
Irma "I still haven't met one single sailor."
April "How can you say that? You were just talking to a whole fleet of them."
[April points at the sailors, who are catcalling and whistling.]
Irma "I said a single sailor. All of them are married."
April "Burne will blow a gasket if I'm late filing this story. Now, come on. Let's move it."
[Inside the Technodrome, the villains are watching the screen as a transport module drills up from the ocean floor near the submarine.]
Krang "Now for operation barnacle. Aha! Success."
[A pair of Foot soldiers exit the module and place clamps on the submarine. They affix a storage battery that’s attached to the other ends of the clamps onto the underside of the sub.]
Krang "Now, Shredder, start draining the submarine's power into our storage battery."
[Power shoots through cables into the battery and then that power shoots down to the Technodrome. The interior controls and lights start to come on.]
Krang "Hoo hoo hoo! It worked! We have energy."
Submarine Captain "What's going on here? What's happening?"
Sailor "I don't know, sir. We seem to be losing power."
Submarine Captain "Something is draining all our energy. Now we're losing the lights. Sound general quarters."
Sailor "Aye, aye, Captain."
[He flips a switch and alarms sound. Cut to the turtle’s lair. Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo are sitting in front of a blank screen TV. Donatello is behind it.]
Michelangelo "So, like, what's taking so long to fix the boob tube, dude?"
Donatello "Ah, these things take time, fellas.
[His turtlecom begins to beep.]
Saved by the beep. Yeah, April."
April "Hello, fellas. Want to come over and watch a movie classic with Irma and me?"
Michelangelo "Tubuloso! We're practically there."
[Inside the Technodrome, systems continue to come online.]
Shredder "Excellent. Soon we'll have stored up enough nuclear power to break through to the surface of the earth."
Krang "And this will make sure those meddlesome turtles don't interfere."
[He sets a beaker of reddish liquid on the counter. Shredder sniffs it.]
Shredder "They live in a sewer. That smell won't frighten them away."
Krang "This potion isn't to frighten them. It's to make them fall in love."
Shredder "Love?"
Krang "Yes! Head over flippers, with the very first female they lay their eyes on."
Shredder "And just how does that help us?"
Krang "They'll be so smitten with jealousy they'll be too busy fighting each other to fight against us."
Shredder "Oh, Krang! That's the most devious, sinister idea you've ever come up with. I like it."
[Cut to a transport module, sitting in an alley. The hatch opens to reveal Rocksteady and Bebop. With them is the beaker full of love potion.]
Rocksteady "Okay, this is the place. All we got to do is sneak in and pour this love gunk on the pizzas. Now, let's get going."
[Shift to the turtle van driving down the street. It comes to a stop in front of a pizzeria. The turtles are all dressed in sailor costumes.]
Leonardo "Michelangelo, why are you stopping?"
Michelangelo "I figured I'd pick up some pizza. I hate to go visiting empty-handed."
Raphael "Or empty-stomached."
[Rocksteady and Bebop watch them from around a corner. Shredder calls them on the comlink.]
Shredder "Well, what's happening?"
Rocksteady "Those green wimps are buying the pizzas right now, boss."
Shredder "Excellent. Oh, I wish I could be there when they take their first bite and when they see their first female."
[While they are driving to April’s, three of the turtles tear into the pizza.]
Donatello "I thought that pizza was supposed to be for April and Irma?"
Raphael "You know women, they're always on a diet. Trust me. They'll thank us."
Leonardo "Ugh. Doesn't it taste kind of strange?"
Michelangelo "Face it, bud. Peanut butter and clams is an acquired taste. What about you, Donatello?"
Donatello "No, thanks. I'm driving. Last stop. April's place."
Raphael "Ohh. I'm feeling kind of weird."
Michelangelo "Oh, me, too. Like totally bizarro."
Leonardo "Same here. Maybe we had too much pizza."
[Irma steps out of the apartment building and walks up to the van.]
Irma "Hi, guys."
Raphael "Va-va-va-voom!"
Michelangelo "Boi-oi-oing!"
Leonardo "Hubba hubba!"
Donatello "Where's April?"
Irma "Burne sent her over to cover a story at the submarine base. Something fishy is going on there. I've got to get down to the office and cover for her."
Leonardo "Wait! My darling!"
Michelangelo "Oh, don’t leave!"
Raphael "Come back, my precious!"
Donatello "Maybe we ought to go down to the pier and see what's up. Uh, fellas?"
[He looks over to see his brothers have left. They are going out through the back of the van.]
Michelangelo "No way, Jose! I've got to buy Irma some flowers."
Raphael "Cheapskate. I'm getting her furs."
Leonardo "You both lose. I'm buying her diamonds."
Donatello "Now what's gotten into them?"
[At her desk in the news station, Irma is receiving a delivery.]
Irma "For me? Ah! You got to be kidding."
Deliveryman "Eh, you're Irma, ain't you? Eh, then they're for you."
[Irma begins reading the cards.]
Irma "‘From your devoted admirer’, ‘From your secret love’, ‘From your hang-ten honeybunch’. Oh, please, you gotta tell me who they're from."
Deliveryman "Eh, three different guys all wearing sailor suits."
Irma "Three different sailors? I've hit the naval jackpot."
[Meanwhile on the pier, April is trying to reach the turtles on her turtlecom.]
April "Come in, turtles. Where are you? This is an emergency."
Donatello "April, where are you calling from?"
April "The nuclear sub station. The entire crew has deserted, even the captain. Do you think Shredder might be involved?"
Donatello "I'd bet on it. We'd better get there quick."
[He looks back to see that his brothers are fighting each other in the middle of the lair.]
Michelangelo "Get serious, dude."
Leonardo "Irma's my girl, I tell ya."
Raphael "The heck she is. She's mine!"
Michelangelo "Irma belongs to me."
Donatello "What am I saying?"
Michelangelo "I want both you bozos to stay away from my girl."
Leonardo "Your girl?"
Michelangelo "Whoa!"
Leonardo "Irma belongs to me."
Raphael "The heck she does. She's mine."
Splinter "Stop! What's this about?"
Donatello "They're in love, Master."
Splinter "That is good."
Donatello "But with the same woman."
Splinter "That is bad, especially when they seem to have forgotten they are turtles."
Donatello "I don't know how, but I have this feeling that Shredder engineered this entire thing."
Splinter "Shredder inspiring love? That would be most unusual for a man who specializes in hate."
[Cut to Irma at the news station.]
Deliveryman "Another package for Irma."
Irma "What is it this time?"
Deliveryman "I don't open them, lady. I just schlep 'em."
Irma "It must be another gift from those seagoing sweethearts of mine. Oh! How adorable. It's a puppy with a note in its mouth. ‘My feelings for you are more than puppy love’. Oh, you're from a sailor, all right."
[Shift to the Technodrome.]
Krang "Soon the Technodrome will be fully repowered and when it is, we shall strike."
Shredder "Ha ha ha! And the beautiful part is those turtles will be powerless to stop us."
Krang "Yes! That love potion should be having its full effect by now."
Shredder "And with the turtles divided, it's time to conquer."
[The scene returns to the lair, where Donatello is working in his lab.]
Donatello "Master Splinter, come quickly."
Splinter "What is it, Donatello?"
Donatello "I analyzed some crumbs from that pizza the other guys shared, and it was laced with a love potion."
Splinter "Hmm. That would explain their sudden infatuation with Irma. It does indeed sound like another of Shredder's evil plots."
Donatello "I've got to come up with an antidote and pronto."
Splinter "I warn you, my son. Untying the heartstrings of love is not an easy chore."
[Inside a transport module, Rocksteady and Bebop are drilling up to the surface again.]
Rocksteady "Boy, traveling always gives me an appetite. Lucky thing I swiped a snack from that pizza store."
[He chomps down a slice of pizza.]
Bebop "Hey, maybe you shouldn't ought to be eating that. It's got that love-potion junk all over it."
Rocksteady "Hey, nothing's going to happen to this rhino."
Both "
[as they hit something]
Whoa! Whoa!"
Bebop "You know, these landings are getting a lot smoother."
Rocksteady "Okay, we're here. Now it's turtle-trashing time. Ha ha! Hyuk hyuk!"
April "Rocksteady and Bebop!"
Bebop "Hey, look. It's that April babe."
Rocksteady "April-- the perfect name for a June wedding. Come to me, my precious."
April "No way, horn head. Aah!"
Rocksteady "Got you, you gorgeous creature."
April "Look who's calling who a creature. I need some turtle help.
[she drops her turtlecom]
Oops. Oh, no. Now what?"
[Shift back to Irma, who is looking at a wedding planning book.]
Irma "Hmm. I can't make up my mind which wedding dress to order, this one or this one."
[A door pops open and Irma’s puppy runs past with papers in its mouth. Burne Thompson and Vernon give chase.]
Burne Thompson "Come back here with those ledgers."
Vernon "You heard him, you mangy mutt."
Thompson "Hey, cut that out! Would you—"
Irma "Oh, you cute little puppykins. Did those nasty men scare you?"
Vernon "First I'm calling the dog catcher, then I'm calling my lawyer."
Irma "Vernon, you'd better be nice to me, or I won't invite you to my wedding."
Thompson "And you'd better do some work around here, young lady, or you're history."
[Meanwhile, Rocksteady is carrying April into the submarine.]
April "Where are you taking me?"
Rocksteady "Into this abandoned sub, my darling, where we can be alone."
April "I keep telling you you're not my type. I go for human beings."
Rocksteady "Make yourself comfy, little buttercup. We're gonna be here for a while."
[He ties her to a chair.]
Bebop "Oh! Now I get it. We're gonna wait until the turtles come to rescue her, and then we're gonna trash them, right?"
Rocksteady "Wrong, hog breath. This sub is gonna be our own personal love boat. Me and her is gonna sail away on oceans o' love."
April "Oh, yecch! Let me go, you disgusting creep."
Rocksteady "You'll see. Once we're married, you'll learn to love me."
April "I wouldn't marry you if you were the last mutant on earth."
Rocksteady "I'm putting you in charge of the wedding arrangements. Now, go swipe a ring and kidnap a preacher."
Bebop "Ha ha! Sure thing."
April "There's only one way to reach the turtles. It's a big sacrifice. Yoo-hoo! Oh, Rocksteady, my darling."
Rocksteady "Huh? You mean me?"
April "Who else would I be talking to, you handsome hunk of horn nose?"
Rocksteady "What is it, my sweet?"
April "If we're going to be married, I need to freshen up a bit."
[Rocksteady sniffs her.]
Rocksteady "You smell okay to me."
April "But a bride needs her lipstick and makeup. And I dropped my compact back on the pier."
Rocksteady "No sweat, honey bun. I'll get it for you. Lipstick and makeup. Lipstick and makeup. Lipstick and makeup."
April "If that imbecile finds out my compact is really my turtlecom, I'm in big trouble."
Rocksteady "Here it is, honey bun."
April "Thank you, love dove. Now, if a girl could have some privacy."
Rocksteady "Hey, whatever sugar lips wants, sugar lips gets."
April "Turtles, this is sugar lips-- er, I mean April. Come in, turtles!"
Donatello "April, where are you?"
April "Rocksteady's holding me prisoner aboard the submarine. Krang and Shredder are draining off all the nuclear power."
Donatello "So, those creeps were behind this."
April "Worst of all, Rocksteady's been fed some sort of love potion and he wants to marry me!"
Donatello "I've just finished mixing an antidote. We'll be right there. Don't go away."
April "Fat chance."
[Donatello takes a pizza out of the oven.]
Donatello "Ah, finished."
Splinter "Really, Donatello. Every moment counts. This is no time to think about pizzas."
Donatello "It's not for me, Master. It's for that love-struck trio in the next room. I finally worked out the antidote."
Splinter "Pray it works, my son. The fate of April, your brother turtles, and the entire world rests on its success, but don't feel you're under any pressure."
Donatello "Look, fellas. It's your favorite pizza topping-- chocolate chili."
Raphael "Forget it. I'm too in love to eat."
Leonardo "Same here."
Michelangelo "Ditto."
Donatello "Aw, it's no use, Master."
Splinter "Perhaps if you used a different approach. What a pity. After all the trouble Irma went to in preparing it."
All "Irma? Irma? Irma?"
Leonardo "Let me have it."
Raphael "No. Me!"
Michelangelo "Stand back! It's mine!"
Donatello "Quick thinking, Master."
Leonardo "Oh! I just had the craziest nightmare. I dreamt I was in love with Irma."
Raphael and Michelangelo "You too?"
Michelangelo "Mondo weird. Like, what's going down, boy genius?"
Donatello "I'll explain later. Right now, we've gotta get to the submarine base."
[The turtle van stops on the pier.]
Donatello "There's the submarine."
Leonardo "And April's aboard it."
Raphael "You guys take the dry road and we'll take the wet road."
[He and Michelangelo dive into the water.]
Michelangelo "Cowabunga!"
[Back in the Technodrome, Krang and Shredder continue to watch the large monitor.]
Krang "The nuclear energy has been totally drained. We now have full power."
Shredder "What? It's those blasted turtles."
Krang "Never fear. The Foot soldiers will take care of them."
Michelangelo "Uh-oh. Foot soldiers at five o’clock."
Raphael "What's the big deal? We're only outnumbered two to one."
[A Foot soldier shoots a spear at Raphael, who catches it and throws it back, hitting and disintegrating the soldier. While others shoot at Raphael, Michelangelo removes the clamps from the sub’s engines and clamps them onto the Foot soldiers.]
Michelangelo "Charge! Yeah!"
Leonardo "April's gone. Along with Rocksteady and Bebop."
Donatello "We've been looking in the wrong place. They're getting away in that life raft."
[They climb up through a hatch together and get stuck.]
Leonardo "You won't get away with this!"
April "It's the turtles."
Rocksteady "Don't sweat, my pet. I won't let this interrupt our wedding plans. Bebop, give them a little taste of torpedo juice."
Bebop "Aye, aye, skipper. Bye-bye, turtles."
Leonardo "Torpedo approaching, dead ahead."
Donatello "Did you have to use the "d" word?"
April "I hope it misses."
Rocksteady "No way. It's radio controlled. See?"
[He turns the dial to show off and the torpedo changes course, coming straight at them.]
Rocksteady "Uh-oh. Childrens and mutants first!"
April "Wait for me, my hairy hero."
[She leaps into the water after Bebop and Rocksteady. The torpedo hits the life raft and it blows up.]
Rocksteady "Ooh! What happened? I feel awful strange."
April "Help! Somebody, help!"
Michelangelo "Chill out, April."
April "Am I glad to see you."
Rocksteady "Poor April. I hate to love them and leave them."
[Rocksteady and Bebop swim into a transport module. Cut to the Technodrome.]
Shredder "Those wretched reptiles have ruined everything."
Krang "Wrong as usual. We still have all the submarine's energy stored in our battery. I assure you we have the upper hand."
[A module tube opens and water floods into the Technodrome.]
Shredder "Yeow!"
Krang "Whaa!"
[The lights begin to flicker.]
Shredder "So, Krang. Another brilliant idea of yours down the drain."
Krang "Don't look at me. Blame those mutant morons of yours."
Shredder "Rocksteady, Bebop! Mark my words. You sniveling idiots will pay for this."
[The lights go out.]
Rocksteady "Neeter neeter! You got to catch us first."
[There is a crashing sound. Topside, April and the turtles have returned to the pier.]
April "Sorry you had to let those two goons escape because of me."
Leonardo "If I know them, they'll be back again soon enough."
Irma "Yoo-hoo! April! Hi.
[As she approaches, they see that she is wearing a wedding dress.]
I've been looking all over for you. You're going to be the maid of honor at my wedding."
April "Your wedding? Who are you going to marry?"
Irma "Whichever of my three sailors shows up first."
Raphael, Michelangelo, Leonardo "Three sailors?"
Irma "You got a problem with that?"
Raphael "No, but you might have one. I'm ‘your secret love’."
Leonardo "Heh heh. I'm ‘your devoted admirer’."
Michelangelo "And I'm ‘your hang-ten honeybunch’."
Irma "You? A--a trio of turtles? Oh! Waah!"
[She throws her bouquet and begins running away. April catches the flowers.]
Donatello "Believe me, fellas. It's better this way."
April "Like they say, the course of true love never runs smoothly."
Michelangelo "Yeah. In our case, it just runs."

Irma: *screams*