I have this, this knot
Sitting right in my gut
Or maybe it's in the very back of my mind
Or it could be both
Honestly I don't know exactly where it is
It's just eating me alive, begging to be let free
To grow and fester and feed
On my loneliness, or my fear
I still haven't figured out which
But it's there, always there
Taunting me, begging me to give in
But I can't, I won't
Too much to live for
Too much to do
It's my fault
I let it do this to me
But I just haven't figured out how to get rid of it
Alcohol, nicotine, the blade
They numb it, the pain, well sort of
But without them it's always present
Maybe just dormant for now
But it doesn't go away
I feel it watching me, hating me, judging me
When will it go away?
