longing

*Chapter 1*

A letter to my ameer, that he will never receive.

You know life sometimes gets so hectic, that we don't even have time stop and breath for some mere seconds. And then there are these lonely,gloomy, sleepness nights when we just wish to have someone there for us throughout thick and thin.

Life is same for me after all these years except that, you are not here cracking you weird ass jokes for the sake of making me laugh . Giving me random backhugs ,when I'm cooking us breakfast or leaving cute notes in my favorite novels.

I was pretty insecure about myself. After all i was just a normal girl, black hair same boring brown eyes either nothing special about me. And then there were you, social butterfly, you didn't even have to study to get good grades. And then lastly a face that can directly get you into modelling industry. I was seriously sometimes so jealous of your put together life.

Our first meeting seriously make me laugh to this very day. We met at a party that i was not so willingly attending. My mood was so foul that day. And then you came with your group of friend . I don't know why the hell? We thought it was a good idea to fight over an stupid donat. I still think that chocolate is more good that strawberry flavor tho.

You know, you sometimes remind me of a fluffy blanket that i wanna snuggle close to till I doze off Or a old French song maybe.

Your eyes are the most captivating feature, of your face. It seems like they are holding a world full of secrets, beneath them. It's--....... I don't know how to describe it. It's almost divine.

You remember that night on your 18th birthday. When you told me that you were going away for further studies. I was devasted to hear that. I wanted you to stay. But i know I can't be that selfish. So i bid you farewell by faking a smile. I don't know when, where and how but I fell in love with you. You were not even type like I wanted a intimidating man , but you were the quite opposite. With you even a stranger can openly talk about the things that are bothering them and feel at ease.

When you left I got pretty lonely. I shut down people that genuinely cared about me. Life got so hectic for both of us that we lost contact. That doesn't mean that i didn't miss you. I still thought about you every single second. Now I sit alone at rooftop and stargaze , like we used to do back into days. It somehow made me feel closer to you. Whenever i'm feeling down I wear that hoodie that you gave me, it always manage to brighten my mood.

It somehow scary, how much I changed as a person after you came in life. I still regret it to this this day I should've confessed my feelings to you earlier. Maybe things would've turned out different for us.

I know I was stupid to think what we had would last forever. I would get my happily ever after with you, like in those Disney movies. I got the news that you are coming back . I was literally on could nine. Obviously I didn't get the information from you like I wanted. It was your parents who told me about.

I wished to make you happy as much as she does. Well now Tecinally it's impossible now. So good luck with your life.

Still yours
Farha al khalid.