Novo Nachalo

Chapter 4: West-Facing Windows

Saturday, March 1, 2008

The weeks since Valentine's Day had fallen into enough of a rhythm that at least Hermione didn't drink enough in the evenings to need a hangover potion most mornings. Perhaps Theo and Ron's words had both put a little dent in her pity party, or maybe it was more that she was trying to keep the promises she'd made to each of them to try in a broader way. She was still mourning, but she was trying to do it productively, at least.

Admittedly, some days productive still included breakdowns, like when Rosen pitched a fit that Hermione's Banitza wasn't as good as Tatko's. As if Hermione wasn't already painfully aware that her baking and cooking, especially when it came to Bulgarian food, still left much to be desired in comparison to Vik's.

Still, she made herself get up every single day and shower, even if she didn't feel like it. She took Rosen to school on time every morning of the week, and then often met Theo for tea afterwards. As the owner of the company, Theo set his own hours and really only worked the cases that appealed to him. His highly trained team handled the rest.

Afternoons were spent doing things to try and help herself, like yoga (which she immediately decided she hated too much to even finish the whole first class), and meditation (which she tried on her own and hated even more). She felt better about the idea of taking up a physical hobby. Something active would feel like she was doing something other than stewing in her thoughts, perhaps, though she wasn't sure where to start.

She made herself write to Indigo Linton for advice before she could convince herself Falcons Chaser she'd become friendly with would prefer not to hear from her. Indy, as she'd insisted Hermione call her, had reached out to Hermione plenty of times since Vik had joined the team. Hermione was the one who rarely reciprocated those repeated efforts.

Now, she asked Indy her if she could recommend a good gym for Hermione to try. Perhaps somewhere with a variety of classes she could explore if she wanted, or just a safe and comfortable place to exercise where the press wouldn't bother her much. Indy gave her an immediate and enthusiastic yes, and insisted Hermione join her gym.

But perhaps the most important thing she started working on was looking for a therapist. She wouldn't go see Rosen's mind healer, Miss Keen, obviously, as she only worked with children. Instead, Hermione opted to look for a muggle counsellor.

It would mean there were some things she couldn't be entirely honest about, but it offered an extra level of protection to her privacy. That was important. It also meant she could use the internet to find a counsellor who was versed in kink. That was important too.

She hadn't gotten very far in her efforts yet by the time Ron's birthday rolled around. Her first counselling appointment wasn't for a few weeks because there was a wait list, and she'd only been to the gym with Indy once. But it still felt like there had been some progress.

She had cried a little less, drank a little less, and gone out a lot more. It didn't mean the grief didn't still exist heavily enough to fill all of the quiet moments, taking up space in the breaths between each word, sharpening its teeth on the stone lodged in her chest when she saw anything that reminded her of him. She was trying to function anyway.

Which was how she ended up at the pub, sitting with Harry and Ron on one side and Luna and Rolf on the other, with Ginny, George, Parvati, Neville, and Lee across the table. It was the Saturday before Ron's birthday, and they'd be going to the Burrow for a family dinner the next night, but tonight, he'd wanted to celebrate with his friends.

Hermione tried to follow all of the different conversations going on at once. Neville talked about how he and Hannah were handling Oscar, who was nearly a year and a half now and who was just beginning to talk and run. Luna and Rolf were telling stories about their last trip, a three week jaunt to Venezuela with the twins to search for the rainbow ibis, the magical cousin to the scarlet ibis. George and Lee were regaling Harry, with stories of a recent and evidently hilarious catastrophe with one of Ron's prototypes, despite his protests that it wasn't on to make fun of him at his birthday. Ginny and Parvati were assessing romantic prospects at the bar, but Hermione couldn't help but notice that Ginny's eyes weren't falling on the groups of men that Vati's were. Rather, they flicked up to the waitress when she brought their next round of drinks.