If I didn't go over there, I wouldn't be in this headspace. I feel guilty that I feel this way. I know this week should be about her but what about me?
Hello? I am the hero, I found her. Hello? I am the one who is traumatized for life. Hello? Can I get some sympathy over here? I'm mad at a dead woman for taking the show. If I didn't go over there, I wouldn't have a reason to cry. If I didn't go over there, I wouldn't have been late to my man's that's not my man's place. If I didn't go over there, I wouldn't have to write a pillow talk.
Dear Toni, Your death was unfair. I told you that I was going to quit my job first and you stole my idea. I thought you would open the door and yell at me for showing up unannounced. But then again, you wouldn't yell because you didn't like being alone so my knock would have made your day. I wish I would have ran over and knocked on a different day. Someone told me that you're the saddest when the weather is the warmest. Crazy how nature can be so pretty but death is so ugly, but isn't that nature too? I found you on Wednesday, you didn't show up to work on Tuesday. Why did they put your death day as Wednesday? Did you skip work and feel bad so it caused a heartbreak? So many questions and I can't even ask you. So many emotions and you can't feel any of them.
I have a lot of guilt for a middle of the week type of thing. I'm guilty, now I just have to figure out of what... hopefully it comes before you start judging.
YOU ARE READING
Toni
General FictionI feel like the worst time to break down is when the situation is over and everyone else has moved on. The worst part is the overlapping emotions and rush of anxiety. For me, it becomes more difficult when I think of the cause. Well, she was the cau...
