- Change. something that has been occurring since the birth of the universe. Something that happens gradually and requires paitence, consistency and courage. something which I don't posses. something I will never posses. A fear of change, I suppose is acquired by children who come from a family like mine- vicious, chaotic, unpredictable. with fathers who were never in the picture and mothers who didn't have time for us. people who weren't meant to be husband and wife. people who didn't deserve to have kids together. they make this process even harder for me. they make it seem like its almost impossible to change into someone new and not end up like them because everything seems against us, against me. everyday seems the same, every reaction, every mistake, every cry, everything is the same since time has existed and captured me in its glory. I hate it here. I am willing to get out. but how? this bloody mind of mine is so tricky, it wont let me change. it will bring torment if i wished upon changing. its a cycle. a loop. which doesn't seem to have an end. only breaking it will free generations upcoming from pain and misery. And breaking it requires courage. which isn't something which I posses.
