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Bench Carvings

This wasn't a suggestion from anyone. I felt like writing this myself. 

Ship: Killermare 😩 

Warning: Angsty Nightmare 

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❤🍎Nighty PoV. 🍎❤

It was late at night. Darkness fell over the castle. The guys were fast asleep. But I couldn't sleep. Not with him around. His smile, his laugh, everything about him. It all took over my thoughts. 

What was wrong with me? Was I broken as the King of Negativity? Why was I feeling these things? 

Ugh. I left my room and headed downstairs. Then, out the door. A nice walk in the garden would clear my head. I hoped. 

But it didn't. All I could think about was what it would be like if he was walking with me. He would look so pretty in this setting. Sitting down in the grass, sniffing the flowers. Talking to me... Smiling... 

I shook my head and sat down on a gray wooden bench, which had Dust, Horror, and Cross's names engraved in it. They had been stupid enough one day to do that. I knew it was there, tracing my fingers along their names. But then I noticed a new on there. 

It was Killer's. With a bunch of hearts scribbled around it. For one reason or another, Dream had also engraved his name here. Right next to Cross's. In fact, all three of the Star Sanses had their names scratched in the gray bench. And Error, too... 

I sighed. Not that I really cared, but they didn't ask me to carve my name into this magical bench... 

I would've put it right next to Killer's, so that it would be surrounded by his love. 

But I shook my head to clear thoughts like this. I was obviously stupid to think someone as perfect as Killer could love somebody like me, who was so messed up. And if he found out that I failed as a boyfriend to Cross, I was doomed. 

Nobody but Error knew about the relationship I used to have with the half and half bastard. We had to break up because he only snapped at me all the time and that was not love. 

But... It was also because my brother loved him more than me. I could tell. Deep down inside, I knew that they would end up better than we ever would have. 

I really didn't deserve anyone's love, did I? Not Killer's, not Cross's... No one's. I was doomed to be lonely for the rest of my life, watching everyone around me be happy together. 

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. 

"Boss... What are you doing awake at this hour?" It was one of the guys. Actually, it was the one I wanted to see the least at that moment. 

"Nothing... I just couldn't sleep..."

My brain wanted to say, "... Because all I could think of was you.", but that would be super embarrassing, and I didn't want him to hate me. 

"Why?"

I froze. How did I know he would ask that question? What would I say?! How could I lie to him?! 

"... Feelings. They're complicated."

"I know, right? I used to be such a fool. It was all because of my stupid feelings for people."

I let out a sigh of relief. He didn't seem to be pushing any more information out of me. He bitterly sat down next to me, staring at Error's name. He must not have known about it, either. 

"Huh, I didn't know Error had his name here..."

"Me neither. Nor did I know you had yours here."

Killer traced his finger over his name. Then, over the hearts he drew next to it. 

"Yeah... Dream convinced me to do it. He had his name put here, too. See? Right next to Cross's. Intended him so much that he carved it right there."

"And what about the other three?"

"I don't know. But Blue's looks so intricate, don't you think?"

I nodded. It was very pretty. And it was no surprise that he carved his name right next to Dust's, seeing as they were dating. He even drew a little plus or 'x' or whatever that sign was supposed to be. 

"Hey... Would you mind having your name carved here, too?" Killer asked. He stared at me with huge, black, puppy dog eyes. HOW COULD I SAY NO TO THAT FACE?! IT WAS ALMOST AS IF HE KNEW I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO RESIST HIM! 

"Uh, sure..."

The white pupil in his left eye sparkled. I smiled, feeling a little bit of warm blush powder my cheeks. He stood up and dashed away, only to return a few minutes later with a stick.

"Here," he said. "You have to use this. Everybody else did. It's only tradition. And even our kids in the future someday will use this stick to carve their names in the bench."

I shook my head, trying not to imagine having kids with him. Taking the stick, I began to scratch my name into the bench. It was sloppy, due to a.) the bench being made out of solid wood, and b.) my handwriting being horrible due to childhood trauma. 

"THANKS."

I stared at him. The smile on his face was even wider and the sparkle in his eye was brighter. The blush on my face grew as he threw his scrawny arms around my neck. 

"Oh... No problem, Kills."

Now I wouldn't be able to sleep for sure... 

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 αяє уσυ ρяσυ∂ σf мє? ι мα∂є ιт ℓσиg! 

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