just in love with you

The new beginning (3)

Well through the heading you might be thinking what kind of beginning was gonna happen with me a magical or make over or relationship or score top in my class so it's nothing like that at all and why I choose new beginning because I got a friend who knows me and understand me but sadly my bond with her is gone forever I guess I will always miss you dear if you read this anywhere. So I got an amazing friend her name is Lisa she was a big game changer for me but I never shared with her that I was in love with a boy because she is a loud speaker obviously she will create a drama at that time I was still not sure about her sorry to say but I take lot of to time to know a person and accept them in my that eight grade for the Frist time i feel connected to the classmates and with being with Lisa little by little gained self confidence and then I started to not to wear cap my school cap . I feel fresh but not happy I just felt there are some hope in my life because everything i was thinking I was a piece of shit to this beautiful Earth. Have you ever feeled like I don't deserve all this and most hurtful was seeing my parents!! in my bottom of my heart I will always choose my parents more than my life. A single sadness on my parents face make me lost in darkness because they deserve someone better than me in every words and also for my younger brother I wasn't a good example for him also . But meeting Lisa and slowly talking and interact with other students make my smile everyday and that's a real smile not a fake one . At that time I finally interact with my class boys as only classmates and nothing more than that . So overall I said I made a new friend and communication skills developed from that stage or grade . Everything was in flow but everything stop with I saw him my sadness happiness lost in those few seconds of eye contact. He was in other section which made me not to meet him everyday but whenever I saw him I feel happy a joy I get just only to see him. But I lower my expectations about him because he was a fuck boy !! Always girls around him I mean every time I finally get a chance to see him with a girls talking to him so I pushed my self to stop everything he is not even at your reach. But as I said my own heart never listen and lead to me to have one side love for 4 years. Then I really like my nickname TANI because everyone in my class called me through that name and I love to hear my name being called out. Then I would say life is a game you know that but I want you to become a master mind of this game !!!!.....