The Last

"It was certainly not me. It was all you."

Althea's POV

After a few months, gawin na nating specific, after three months na lagi mo ako iniignore. Lagi mo ako dinedecline kapag inaaya kita makipag date. Lagi mo sinasabi na busy ka, pagod ka, may work ka. Bigla ko makikita yung name mo na tumatawag sa phone ko.

Tinitigan ko mabuti. I'm thinking, "sasagutin ko ba to?" 

To be honest, after those grueling months of begging and waiting, nawalan na ako ng gana. Especially now. 

But for the sake of our relationship. For the sake of my heart na umaasa pa din sayo, I'll follow it one last time. 

I answered your call and your voice, it's been so long since I've heard it pero di katulad ng dati, wala na yung saya at excitement kapag naririnig ko. Gusto ko sana ibaba na yung tawag kaso natigilan ako sa sinabi mo.

"Babe... I miss you"

To say that I was shocked was an understatement. Nakakamiss ka pala? 

"Napatawag ka, Ethan?"

"Babe, don't be like that. I know nagkukulang na ako sayo but let me make it up to you."

"I don't know. Busy ako sa work eh"

I tried using your excuses. I tried giving you the taste of your own medicine pero mukhang mas makapal pa mukha mo kaysa sa tires ng sasakyan mo. 

"Ano ka ba? Holiday ngayon wala tayong work. I'll pick you up, okay? See you in an hour or half. May importante din akong sasabihin sayo eh"

Tapos binaba mo na yung call. Di mo man lang inisip na baka ayaw kitang kasama. Pero dahil isa akong dakilang marupok, nag ready pa din ako. 

Hindi ko nga din alam kung bakit pero mas nag ayos pa ako ngayon compared sa mga dati nating date. I looked at myself and I see someone na hindi na katulad ng dati. I wasn't alright but I knew I was going to be okay. 

Hindi din naman nakatulong yung last words ni Ethan sa call. He said he'll say something importante. Before, when he says stuff like that, I always imagine he'll say na he's ready to let me move in with him. But now, maybe it's something else. I have a guess pero maybe I'm wrong.

After half an hour, Ethan messaged me na he's here na. Wala man lang jitters katawan ko when I saw him waiting for me sa harap ng condo ko. Walang butterflies.

"Hi babe" Sabay kiss niya sa cheeks ko. "You look beautiful."

I just smiled. Wala na din ako sa mood noong nakita ko siya. He opened his car door and gestures me to go in. After that he went sa side niya and got inside as well.

Wala pang 5 mins kami nakaka alis he started talking like he did nothing wrong. He started talking about his work and his life, like I wasn't a part of it. 

I couldn't stand it. So kahit na nag sasalita pa siya I interrupted him.

"What's your deal, Ethan?"

He fell silent and when I took a peek at him, he looked pissed. 

"What do you mean what's my deal? Bumabawi ako sa girlfriend ko."

I looked at him seriously when he said that. I can't believe him.

He suddenly sped up his driving and I was scared na baka kung ano maisip niya gawin until he made a right turn sa corner and stopped sa isang eskinita. 

Hindi naman siya violent pero madami na ang nag bago. Akala ko he'll tell me to go out and leave pero he suddenly spoke.

"You know, I realized na nagkukulang na ako sayo. Kaya nga I'm here. I'm making up for lost time para masalba pa yung relationship natin pero looking at how you're treating me, I guess I'm too late." 

I gaped at what he said, is he really saying na dahil sa akin, na dahil sa attitude ko sakanya, our relationship isn't worth saving?

I kept staring at him and he kept acting frustrated. So I asked him na...

"So ano sasabihin mo na importante?"

He sighed almost like hesitating.  Almost.

"Sasabihin ko sana at the end of our date na we should break up."

For the first time sa araw na ito, hindi na ako nagulat sa sinabi niya.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying na nakikipag break ako dahil di na kita mahal. Mahal na mahal pa din kita, Althea. Pero alam ko na madami na ako kasalanan sayo. Hindi ko nga alam paano mababayaran lahat yun. Like right now, nag try ako pero mukhang ayaw mo na. It's not your fault. I know my mistakes. It's not you, it's just me. Ako yung gago. 

After his grand speech I finally realized na I can let him go na. After hearing everything he said natawa na lang ako, genuine na tawa. 

He looked puzzled at me so I said it na.

"Akala ko aaminin mo na sa akin na 3 months na kayo may relasyon ni Sarah. Yung ka-workmate mo?"

The looked on his face when he realized I knew all along. 

2 months na iniignore niya ako nalaman ko sa isa niyang workmate na may nangyari sakanila ni Sarah sa team building nila prior to his attitude towards me. It all made sense. Ayoko lang aminin sa sarili ko pero ngayon na narinig ko na excuse niya, I can say for certain na he's an asshole that doesn't deserve me. 

"Alam mo Ethan, you're right. It was certainly not my fault. Hindi ko kasalanan na di ka nakuntento. Pero sana you grew some balls to just say it rather than doing this. Be a man. Mahiya ka din sa sarili mo."

After saying that he looked pathetic in my eyes. Lumabas na ako sa car niya and started walking down sa main road. Now I let it all out, I knew I can be okay. In the first place naman kasi, it was all his fault.

The end.