The Last

"You're Losing Me"

Reine's POV

It's been a week since we last talked. It's been dreading me since I don't know what to do or say to him. I'm afraid that ignoring and pretending that this is bothering me will lead to us falling apart, but also if I confront things with him, he may confirm the fears I've been denying. 

I'm trying to keep myself busy with a lot of things until I fell ill with sickness and now, I'm stuck overthinking about things I'm not supposed to think. 

I sighed as I lay down on my bed. I'm not allowed to leave my room and I've been drunk on thoughts. My illness is contagious and so it's easier for everyone around me to just stay in my room and deliver what needs to deliver.

But as times go by, not having someone to talk to make me go crazy in fears and it's making me think of worse things about my relationship with him. 

I felt my phone buzz on my side and when I took a peek it was a message from him.

"How are you?"

I smiled as I saw his message. Maybe my mom told him what happened to me and I was relieved that he still has some concerns towards me. I excitedly was about to reply but his next message made me stopped abruptly.

"I know that this is a bad time but I want to stop this for a while."

I sank lower in my mental state as I comprehend what he sent me. It's like a thousand dangers stabbing my heart. I contemplated what to reply to him. 

"What do you mean?"

I played the dumb part. I want for him to say it directly. It may hurt but I think it's what I need right now.

"Us. I want to take a break from it. Maybe just for a little while."

"Is that all you need? A break?"

I can't understand what he's asking because we haven't talked for a week. That's like a break for me but he wanted to make it more official. Like he already knows what he wants from this.

"Don't start whatever you're trying to start. This is why I needed a break from you"

I couldn't hold my anger in anymore. I can't understand him and I can't stop this anger from exploding inside me. I have to say it.

"Why not just say it? We both know what you're trying to do. Be a man and say it."

" Fine! I want to end this. I want to end things with you."

When I read that I couldn't stop my tears from falling. I saw it coming the second he stopped trying to communicate. I knew it and I tried to get myself to be ready when he says it but it still hurts like hell. 

I put my phone down and made sure to turn it off. I don't need to see anything more than that. 

I curled up on my bed letting the tears fall down and cried myself to sleep. 

It went like that for a few weeks before my illness started to cure. 

For two weeks I didn't open my phone or my social accounts. I think that helped get through the heartache. Not knowing anything that's happening made me focus on myself and made me accept whatever happened.

 As I opened my phone again, I saw a bunch of messages from him. Asking what my reply was, how was I, checking in on me. I deleted everything before I can even get stuck on reading all his messages. 

I went to my social accounts and deleted everything about him there. Pictures, Videos, Mutual Friends. Everything. 

For my last move, I was going to block him. 

But I saw a message come through just the last minute and it was from him.

"I miss you."

I stared at the message for a while. 

Maybe for a few minutes. 

and then I deleted it.

I blocked him.

and I took a deep breath and let everything go.

He was already losing me before and now he lost me forever.